Z A F I F A K A M A L

Community development for elderly

2011-12-15T02:10:00.000-08:00

I am writing an article on this, hell the internet is so slow (mcm siput) downloading my prefered journals. Why can't things be easy on me? Org dah ramai balik, since today is a half day working hour (literally lah), mcm mana slow lagik?

Many things on my list, esok kelas epjj, MIL & FIL is here in Pendang, (yeah!) so nak berjimba dgn mereka kat rumah orang kawin esok malam dan keesokkan harinya. It happen to be my FIL birthday, unfortunately birthday cake of Red Velvet confirm tak dpt siap esok, maka ke secret recipela jawabnya. Our Prime Minister is coming to the university, I am thinking of skipping this session so I can reunited with my parents - giving the thought of focusing all the attention to them. Ketua Jabatan ke bukan, I am succumb to be their daughter kan... so nak blink blink dgn MIL esok.

Back to the topic, I was arguing why increasing retirement age could be a burden to many people esp to the government. The implimentation is ongoing but a friend told me the legislation are still ain't clear. I think this solution is smewhat an immediate resolution, which actually workable to those who are working in a high skillfull job, should you need to profess or longitunal studies or perhaps R&D. The rest, less likely than not, you'll find more error in their worksheets - effective? I am proposing a community development to help on easing the aging process for our elderly, and they suppose to enjoy life at this stage after a long working journey they had.

How? Find out when WE PRESENT IT in an international conference...

The power within.

2011-12-11T18:33:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking and at a glance nobody have actually know what I can do to make a life up-side down. With my intelligence and know-how, I can make one's life suffer. Off late, since I am holding an important post in my department, many have gave me the remarks, without fail when ever I complaint about something, " Kalau Zafifa yang lembut ni pun tak boleh tolerate, yang lain apa lagi". I am quite surprise with the remarks though, and thanks-but-no-thanks for making me a kind of girly type which I hate to be labelled with. I really hate those who are girly type especially sulking tak tentu hala, or with manja-manja tone of voice. Ohh pleaaase!

When I was engaged with my hubby, it seems everyone has been coming to me and tell me how to treat my fiancee well. Back rooted from a close knitted family, and being the only grandson for almost 5 odd years, he was well known with his tanthrums. Being a kampong boy, his socialization with the tools and nature is quite amazing. He has always the way to do things (up till now, I must admit), and he speaks his mind, most of the time. He told me once, I am telling only the truth to you, regardless how bad and hurt it will be - so be it, I like this style. I think it is a sexy move, that a man has the guts to tell the truth to his girl. I believe in toleration to make this relationship happen and sustain. After all, I am building my family with him. It shouldn't be always about himself right? Reminising the old days which I definitely would nodded on the 'advice' given by my MIL, datuk, nenek, makcik, pakcik, adik... I think I can do more on that. Now I felt if I take their advice, I am slavering myself to my hubby, not making a healthy relationship, at the end, making a good slave to him. Our relation shouldn't be based on dreadful fear, it should be on respect and love.

I might sound feminist in this sense, but I think the community should be more open in any relationship. Let them be in sailing their own boat, even in the angry seas. The rest, be the paramedic waiting a call of help. Be our buffer but never in between of us.

P/s - Thanks Mr Hubby for always being my punching bag when ever I am down, and holding me whenever I am at the top of the world! Love ya...

Kimeys

2011-09-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

Sepatutnya malam ni ada dinner date dengan ayah. Dapat message "B... we had to cancel the dinner... meeting extended til tnight... luv u" - :(

Sudah teridam-idamkan lasagna dan pizza sepiring, tidak mengapa. Harapan ini sangat menggunung untuk kami berdua mendapat keberkatan dari hasil pendapatan setiap bulan, hasil yang halal sentiasa.

InsyaAllah, usaha yg baik mendapat pulangan yg berkat, Amin.

Raya

2011-08-31T17:14:00.000-07:00

Passing the days and years, this is the 6th times I had my raya with deary hubby, and now with 2 of my lovely cutie pies - Damia and Aleesya. Alhamdulillah, I felt blessed whenever I am with them. I learn a lot about myself, and learning to enjoy both hubby and the children's tanthrum :). I am too learning how to managing my anger, for real I am old enough to think rationally.

In my career path, I am opening up a new horizon in my life - leading. I had accepted a post that is not in my list to be. Thanks to Lyn who makes sense on this appointment cause it takes a lot for one's to digest in a short period. I am not a person who rejects responsibility before trying, and I have many ideas to give. I know I have a good team to work with and as at my part, decision making and be responsible in every inch of it is the reasons I got the extra payment. Whatever it is, I know I can do it.

Alhamdulillah Allah with this colourful life and rezeki. Salam Eidulfitri to all readers, should any of my writing hurt any of you, it just my personal thoughts and expression. I am a great supporter of our freedom of speech, albeit the 3 sensitive issues which stated in our federal constitution. With that, maaf zahir dan batin.

zafifa kamal

2011-08-15T08:30:00.001-07:00

let be what it meant to be, i am ready to face whatever possible that comes toward us!

I wanna go conference!

2011-07-11T18:41:00.000-07:00

I am feeling a bit slow in progress, academically speaking, since I'm putting much of my time to family and and some teaching materials. Writing a paper seems a bit slow beginning of this year. I'm not hoping for much but it seems its been ages since my last presentation in a conference.. ermmm, at CSSR last year Dec?

I miss going conferences, the feeling to go and enjoying myself at the venue and sharing the thoughts of what others might not know about what I'm researching about, meeting new friends, rubbing shoulders with big names in the arena, hot gossips in academia which rarely gets - love love love these so much. Not to forget, pampering myself.

I;ll be in Sabah for a paper presentation that then hoping I hv the opportunity to have chapters in book. Later, I would like to score a conference in HK, in January next year. The said paper is ready, but currently undergoing an editorial work by my reliable editors.

By next year too, I should be able to use my grants to present some of my literature findings.

Thanks to my job that push me to be relevant in my own field!

Chow!

Updates

2011-07-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

Dah berhabuk blog saya ini. Sangat usang dan tidak dibelai oleh pemiliknya. Memang agak lama tiada updates tentang saya dan family, serta kerja2 yang sentiasa tiada penghujungnya.

Sambil makan keropok lekor 'royal' dr Terengganu disulami dengan air Ribena lebihan menjamu Azlyn dan suami, tiada idea yang konkrit untuk saya tulis dalam entry hari ini.

Apa yang boleh saya katakan kini, saya akan semakin lebih sibuk lebih dari biasa. Akhirnya, konsistensi hantaran proposal untuk mendapat geran tercapai jua. Alhamdulillah, saya masih dalam nada kegembiraan kerana 2 projek besar yang kami cadangkan membuahkan hasil, yang mana salah satunya saya menjadi ketua. Kami score dalam 75k dalam projek 2 tahun ini. Selepas majlis penyampaian Geran ini kira2 dua hari lepas, kami berdua dalam 'shopping mode' untuk membelanjakan peruntukan ini untuk kelancaran projek tersebut. Geran FRGS ini secara retoriknya bagaikan 'producer filem yang mendapat keuntungan berjuta2 atas filem mereka', it's not an everyday occasion. Kini saya lebih bersemangat kerana ianya baik dari semua segi; kenaikan pangkat, pengalaman research, mencantikkan CV, dan usaha saya dalam mencari niche untuk ke peringkat seterusnya. Kebanggaan ini bukan sahaja dicorakkan sebagai kejayaan terbesar kami, malah dalam fakulti - sedikit sebanyak dapat menyumbang kepada mereka.

Saya dan partner dalam menjadi GRA (Graduate Research Assistant) yang mampu membantu kami menjalankan kerja2 peyelidikan. Kami dalam proses untuk expedite the work flow, jadi kami dapat enrol belajar just in time bila dapat apa yg dicari dan dikejar.

Wish us all the best, cause sometimes luck does helps!

zafifa kamal

2011-06-10T23:10:00.001-07:00

cheeky damia

Another stupid motion in the country...

2011-06-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

This is an evidence that show how shallow/ insensitive in the below comment's choice of word, and addressing it to the rest of the wives out there.

Where is the value of wives in men eyes nowadays, where Islam always look up on the women? There should be no coercive power in any relations developed. WOMEN SHOULD NOT PERCEIVED AS A SEX SYMBOL, they are not pimp toys which one's can play about.

And to tell this woman whom SEX is what she always think about, sex is NOT the ONLY ultimate mechanisms to curb men to go astray from marriage life... I can't stand such Morons!

For those non-Muslim, I do not speak on behalf of modernity in life - where women's rights should be imposed to everyone in this world, but the philosophy of Islam teaching has given a proper and high status to every woman. This definitely a new cult/ culture to undermine the real teaching. After all, what men do to satisfy the women in the bed? Can't we go deviate if the men failed to satisfy us? Think back before you flop my dear "Kelab Taat Suami"...

Fifa

By Agence France-Presse, Additional Text by Sebastian Loh, 06/06/2011

Malaysian club urges wives to be 'whores in bed'

A group of Malaysian women launched an "Obedient Wife Club" on Saturday, urging members to be "whores in bed" and obey their husbands to curb social ills like divorce and domestic violence.

YOUR TAKE: Do you think a "good wife should be a whore in bed"? Sign in here and COMMENT on this issue.

Important: MSN Malaysia is not responsible for content posted by readers. When commenting, please refrain from profanity and/or provocative language. Do not post anything that may be considered libelous, inflammatory and/or illegal.

Islamic group Global Ikhwan held the club's inaugural meeting in Kuala Lumpur, giving women tips on how to keep their men satisfied and prevent them straying.
"A good wife is perceived to be prim and proper -- you just take care of the children -- but not much is emphasised on fulfilling sexual needs of the husband. If he needs sex, obey him," Rohaya Mohamad, the club's vice-president told AFP.
Rohaya said 30 percent of the club members were in polygamous marriages while the rest were in monogamous relationships and that the club was open to non-Muslims.
"You must satisfy your husband. A good wife should be a whore in bed," said 46-year-old doctor, whose husband has three other wives.---> unacceptable!
She said the club boasted 800 Malaysian members so far with another 200 from across the Middle East.
Over 1,000 guests and supporters turned up for the launch in a leafy suburb, held in conjunction with a mass wedding of ten couples, with the brides all members of the new club.

This is a must in TO-DO-LIST for 2011/2012

2011-05-31T17:52:00.000-07:00

I loved stand-up comedy that have witty contents and up to the local current issues. I found those joked materials made me understand others view of the subject and I could remember better on those problematic scenes. The best part is, I could share with the entire class! Sadly, some students just don't get the idea - pls tap with the currents dear...

p/s - bila la nak jumpa orang-orang mcm gini...

Kings & Queen of Comedy Asia: Review

Posted 2nd November 10 at 12:28 am by tania

23 October 2010 – For 3000 people, it was a different kind of Saturday night; not about going out for drinks or planning a typical wild night that might potentially ruin their Sunday morning. No, that night was the anticipated Kings & Queen of Comedy Asia, a stir that has been getting everyone’s attention since they announced ‘the biggest comedy show in Malaysia” back in September.

It was The Comedy Club KL’s bravest project yet; local organisers LOL Events brought a fantastic line-up that featured Malaysia’s Harith Iskander and Douglas Lim, Singapore’s Kumar, India’s Vir Das and Australia’s Hung Le to the posh Plenary Hall in the KL Convention Centre; hmm… our answer to England’s Live At The Apollo?

Four kings, one queen; indeed, there was only room for one empress that night, and she may come in the form of a lean, cross-dressing Indian man, but yet never have we seen 3000 eyes fixated on a lady quite like that evening. In her formal black getup and a bitchy stare that meant business, Kumar, although just a host for the night, whipped up quick one-liners that got everyone throwing their heads back in laughter repeatedly without fail.

But Kumar is not just about throwing in a sexual reference into every hole of an opportunity; this madam has tact, taste, wit, and wisdom. Being the lady of the evening also gave her rights to mocking the other comedians, and we have to agree; they almost had nothing on Kumar, baby.

Up first was Douglas Lim, whose favourite peeve was the ridiculous international headlines that Malaysia has made in recent years, due to the obscurity of ‘rational thinking’ among us, and poked fun at racial over-sensitivity. Also, much to the glee of the audience, Douglas turned all of us into indirect Justin Bieber fans with his hilarious remake of the hit ‘Baby’ (hint: what else could the word sound like?)

Next came the best looking chap of the lot, albeit the shortest (as Kumar made sure to highlight) – Bollywood man Vir Das. Naturally, he spoke a lot of women. But he was more than just the guy with the Indian accent and a lot of sex jokes. “Indian men are not known as sexy, not when the only two imports are Ghandi and Apu (of The Simpsons)!” he stated, and gave a new foundation to the ancient Kama Sutra: “It takes 6 hours to undress a woman in a sari. All those sex positions? It’s Indian men trying to find an opening in the sari.”

Vir Das was also clever to insert local references into his punch lines; a blow-job will now be known as “Bukit-ing the Bintang”, and, famous for ruining the sex life of at least one audience member, tormented an Andy by shouting out his name whilst impersonating a woman in ecstasy. “Now, whenever you have sex sober, you will think of ME!”

To us, a 6-foot Vietnamese man with an Australian accent and rude French is well, certainly a novelty, but that is Hung Le. “What to know a secret about Asians? We think we all look the same too.” His main vehicle that evening was growing up as a refugee in Australia, where for 15 years his father ate a cornflake sandwich for lunch because Hung Le didn’t have the heart to tell him that it was supposed to be eaten “in a bowl, then you pour in Sprite.”

Hung Le was our token thinking-man’s wit for the night; he may take his time building his stories up, but he doesn’t ramble or leave you hanging without the regular punches on the way. “One thing Asians don’t get is the risotto,” he starts. “It’s Italian for who-f*cked-up-the-rice??”

Harith Iskander emerged as the final act, after a grand introduction by Kumar, perhaps for Harith’s long career in Malaysian comedy. He begins with a somewhat uncalled-for reference to the Susilawati murder, but moved on quickly to question the local colloquial, which is always a favourite area in comedy.

He then reviews Possessed, a local horror flick starring Amber Chia, picking on the frustrating slow-turn-of-the-head and other typical slow reactions by the cast during some terrifying scenes. Harith ends his set with his popular comparison between CSI Miami’s Horatio and the Malaysian forensics department; much of which is dedicated to our habit of redundant repetitions. I.e:

Cop: “Dah mati, puan.”
Forensics Specialist: “Dah mati ke?”
Cop: “Ya, puan, dah mati.”
FS: “Oh dah mati…”
Cop: “Ya”
FS: “Tak hidup lagi lah ni?”

And you have to admit, it was not an exaggeration.

Kings & Queen of Comedy Asia was truly a ground-breaking event in Kuala Lumpur; a testimony that local comedy is indeed ready for something bigger and better. We’re crossing our fingers on a sequel next year, but in the mean time, we are stoked about The Comedy Club KL Season 2. Stay tuned to MSN Going Out for updates!

my life currently

2011-05-09T20:58:00.000-07:00

Dear readers, it's been such a long time since my last entry. I am busy as a bee buzzing here and there, to complete those uncomplete and attending events which I am suppose to attend. I am quite content with my currents, well many things had happen in the past one month.

I am also learning not to TARZANING to my kids, looking at my jewels they are fragile and absorbing like a sponge. Damia, like usual, imitating me. It was totally my mistakes, and all those yelling is just a matter of self-control, shame shame on me. But motherhood is all about improving oneself, and having the most understanding and constructive critical partner, it made the process easier (plus my open heart to change).

We went to Damia's school for her report progress day, Alhamdulillah we've gotten a good remarks. She's mature from her age, intelligent and beyond her age development. Her headmistress insist to let her be in positive environment so she could develop her talents even more. Syukran Mrs Say. But sadly, we're heading to hometown during her first ever concert to be held. We are attending a good friend's wedding, and indirectly be reunited with our long lost friends too. But Damia to be one of the pussy cats, with kitty hairband and tail, it such a loss of opportunity. Haishhh! Oh ya by the way, Damia is such a performer according to her class teacher. Every Thursday they'll organize a mini concert, letting the children to fight with their stage fright - often she'll lead her class. One of the memorable by most of them is when she performed 'Ibu' song - solo. Cayalah Damia!

Oh ya, I had my new car a week ago. Thanks darling hubby to realize it. It took us 3 weeks to have the key in our hands. The car is full CBU, and tedious registration needed, complete with our desired tendered number. We chose to have our wedding date on it. At this moment, as what Lyn had said, that is my latest BF. I just love to be in that little cockpit, having said everything is within my driver's seat. The technology that we have bought is simply 2-thumbs up. I've been using Malaysian and Japanese car which having good performance, Continental car is better - as what most people said is undeniable.

I am currently in the midst of marking of the final examination. I have completed 5 bundles, and a couple of bundle will be in so soon since the examination is on when I am writing this. I pray that the students would give me ease to mark their papers. Tulisan besar2, ayat yang merapek tolong buang dlm laut, highlight your key points and give me relevant elaboration and examples. This should make me happy.... :)

2days to go to reach my 5-years-of-marriage. I've gotten 1special gift for him, and Ayah, I need a Radley handbag so badly - if not Anya Hindmarch's. So many trial and trivial in this age of marriage, and thanks yang for always giving me shoulders to cry on, even though not all things we agreed upon, but both of us try to converge the agreements with our disagreements - a point that we can stand together. With that I would like to dedicate this song to you, Nazrulhisyam...: -

TWO by LENKA

Two, now that I'm with you
Another point of view
Instead of what I knew
Oh two, whatever will do

I don't see a way through
But you're the one I choose
I never knew what double could do
But things are better, so much better

Hold me closer, never let me go
I don't want any other baby
Two is the one, two is the one
I was lonely, never had nobody
But now I've got double, baby
Two is the one, two is the one for me

One, never had so much fun
Staying up till sun
Banging on my own drum
One, always looking for love

And ending up with none
Made me come undone
I never knew what double could do
But things are better, so much better with two

Hold me closer, never let me go
I don't want any other baby
Two is the one, two is the one
I was lonely, never had nobody
But now I've got double, baby
Two is the one, two is the one for me

Two, a couple, not a few
Well, this is something new
If I can deal with it then so can you
I never what double could do
But things are better, so much better

Hold me closer, never let me go
I don't want any other baby
Two is the one, two is the one
I was lonely, never had nobody
But now I've got double, baby
Two is the one, two is the one for me

Sayang awak!

p/s - romantic x i??

Hilarious short dialogue

2011-04-08T00:18:00.000-07:00

One day, ayah had volunteered to send his daughter to school, and suppose to buy her packet of breakfast, since mommy didn't pack any food in the school bag. Kakak was happen to be 3 years old.

Ayah: do u feel hungry?
Kakak: nope.
Ayah: do u want beehoon or something to take to school?
Kakak: nope.

And ayah drove his daughter to school. On the afternoon was mommy's turn to picked up kakak.

Teacher: Kak, I think Kak forgot to pack some food for your daughter. She was sitting isolatedly in the class, learning she hadn't had any food to Jin her friends.
Mommy: what "-$:$:.$).$!!?? (in the heart) calmingly said, I think my husband forget about it. He sent her this morning.
Teacher: I had to bring her to the table and gave some biscuit.

Weill, is the father or the daughter not to trusted???!!! Poor child.

Random

2011-04-07T17:50:00.000-07:00

Friendship means two or more persons interacting actively and enjoy the same mutual interest. Looking back on my track record in this few years, I develop colleagues and acquaintances more often than a friendship. Is my commitment toward my job and marriage hamper a true relations to be built? I don't have any clue. Sincerely, I had to say lately I've no much heart to be so close to anybody, I mean to clique with. Time is always the constraint. But many said, there's thousand ways to find time to make friends-if you really wanted it to be part of your life. Maintaining the existing friendship with a hand full of buddies is fine with me and doesn't cause me much.

Do I lack of support group If any predicament happen, or I need shoulder to cry on? Perhaps. Sometimes our man is not the best person to rely on to mitigate emotional baggage pool in the heart. Girls always pinch our inner sensitivity, making a possible space and time to talk over of anything. Being away or astray from my existing friendship literally on Physical, sometimes makes me wonder, where are all my friends go? I miss them entirely.

Think I need to start moving to a real social networking rather than over facebooking or blogs. Meet up, talk over coffee and flashing back all the good old time. Embrace while u can !

P/s- if any of my students read this write up, kindly exercise your right to ensure your u have ample time to prepare for finals. Good luck rangers!
N

Xrasa apa2

2011-04-07T09:50:00.000-07:00

OMG I don't feel anything about this one particular person. Cuba pujuk hati, mungkin it's time to call off the thing. I've over the top dah. With all the threats before that I used to be cautious on 'what's next?', but now I felt so free. I am more productive at work,leading happier life at home,and it seems I am all myself again.

I don't know whether it's a good thing or vice versa but I'm rocking my life again! P

go away negative vibes

2011-03-29T23:06:00.000-07:00

This morning was fun, we had a visit from our VC, whom is very warth and down-to-earth. The fun part were on the instruction of exemption of all classes between 8-2pm; and to enjoy a mini concert archastrated by our own students - creative and daring, I would say. I am so much into dancing especially the street dance, and there they are dancing and shuffling like proffessionals. I am proud of them on their effort, even though there was some insynchonization in the steps of tarian zapin - effort tu yg kene puji... Well done adik2! And just right before the mini concert begin, Ustaz recite doa and these had been stated there,"jauhkanlah kami dr budaya hedonisme..." Kuang kuang kuang - so contradic and contest!

The celebration was an awe, VC somapai kata "Awesome celebration!". To cut it short, everyone seems very happy and pleased to see him personally.

I had class at 210pm, so I cut it short - MY CAMPUS WILL BE HAVING TESCO, MCD AND STARBUCK BY END OF THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P/s - Diet oh diet... and I can't stand people who spread his/her negative vibes. I just need to run from this kind of people - dislike them so much!

Been too busy to write

2011-03-29T06:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

I am so saturated with my office works and house chores and I owe you an apology. Keeping up my discipline on writing about me here, some how or rather, seems very dull especially on my boring routine. Nothing I found interesting and excite about to write. Mundane plain Jane I am, I guess.

I've been reading many interesting blogs lately and they have inspire me to have my own adventure - at least venturing things that I never wanted to do before. Yeah, why not?

And another thing I realize, I am so badly need a wish list. Because of the fatigue taking care of the kids, juggling the house chores and at the same time heading my career, I can feel I am burning out so fast and the temper is skyrocketing (I tell you!). I am lucky to have Hisyam, my mirror. I also learn that I misplaced my Estee Lauder compact powder, which I love so much. I know it is within my territory but I just do not have the time to search high and low for it. Resulting hubby refused to belanja me another compact powder - ohh pickles!

How I wish I can freely go as and when to any of my favorite restaurants, at night when I am too lazy to cook and have mood for romantic stuff. Courtship with hubby frustratingly end up with cry, fight and misbehave by the kids - always vibrating my patience. I want to be a wonderful mom, and of course a gorgeous wifey to my family, but it seems very challenging. I have improve some. One of them is, I love to spray on my Rose Water by Crabtree and Evelyn - ayah and Damia are so into the smells. I dream to have courting, watch movie, do stuff during our engagement and ad-hoc getaway planned by Ayah never fail to turn my adrenaline on.

We have this thing mingling our mind - dancing. I have passion to watch people to dance, so goes my hubby. Like now, the hype is Do you think you can dance? And waiting for the Showdown to appear in our Malaysian Scene again. But again, look at me, overweight. Got to eliminate those fats.

Now this is the wish list: -
1. Maid (badly need this one's)
2. A collection of Crabtree & Evelyn range of product. I am collecting up to RM600 purchase so that I can get its membership offering 50% for each buy
3. A good idea of a proposal
4. Compact powder - currently using Loreal, surprisingly it blends nicely on me but still craving for a more luxurious one's
5. Finishing up my writing for conferences
6. Get in shape!
7. New car anyone?

p/s I luv u!

Dear daughters

2011-03-16T20:19:00.000-07:00

I am believing in both of you, I will always make you feel important and show you that you could make a difference.

how effective silence treatments are?

2011-03-12T22:24:00.000-08:00

Emotional Abuse is Mental Abuse

The Silent Treatment is a Weapon in Abusive Relationships

Oct 4, 2008 Karen Stephenson

You Needn't be Alone - K. Stephenson

Silent treatments are destructive forces in abusive relationships. Silence is a silent form of anger that says you do not exist. Abusers use this as a form of punishment.There are no reliable statistics that clearly state the extent of this specific form of abuse. Although some studies do indicate the level of emotional abuse that exists in our society, they do not target the “silent treatment”. Silent treatments should not be confused with what is referred to as the “cooling off” period after an argument.
Statistics do show that men and women are almost equal when it comes to spousal domestic violence. It’s believed that giving emotional abuse (in any form) is also almost equal between the genders.
Professor Linda Roberts of the University of Wisconsin wrote in the Journal of Marriage that a verbal withdrawal can be just as destructive to a relationship as actual violence. Psychological abuse is abuse.

Read more at Suite101: Emotional Abuse is Mental Abuse: The Silent Treatment is a Weapon in Abusive Relationships http://www.suite101.com/content/emotional-abuse-is-mental-abuse-a71739#ixzz1GST2Hyh9

p/s - yikes! i had several silent treatments with the same intention without abusing. My part is on the 'cooling off' period, to allow me to gain on my conscience and avoid me from talking crap that later regretting it totally.

ego

2011-03-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

i have ego. we have ego. and this ego would determine how one's would behave. and some readings said 'an intelligent person can be seen from how he/ she controls his/ her ego'. so i can sum up it as one's cognitive, feelings/ emotions and how he/ she intends to behave - and this at the end protruding as to whether you look smart or stupid in public at large.

well, my ego drives me to stay reasonable and sensible, but if it has been challenged repeatedly, my impatient on you may bleak. i am a person whom always keeping toe on my emotional control, but if you abuse it with prejudices, hell you know what's you're gonna get. TRY ME!

and at this end, i am physically and emotionally exhausted, looking at you doom. pls, don't let me loose my respect on you. and again, pick up your pride!

Mood ke laut

2011-02-22T01:03:00.000-08:00

Hari ini mendung dalam kepala. Mengantuk bukan kepalang. Tapi gagah jua membuat kerja2 akademik kesukaan, membaca. Dalam satu tahap, membaca sambil nangis, sbb menahan mengantuk tidak terhingga. Kerja ini adalah hakiki, maka tiada toleransi untuk aku perlekehkan.

Progress pelajar dalam buat penulisan kajilidik sangat out of the track. Ada yang tukar pembolehubah, ada yang memang takda progress langsung. Nak di marah, takda kederat hari ini, mungkin lain kali. Aku selalu keep in mind, these students are just like me at one stage of my studies, blurry and confuse of their doing. But to keep myself insane, and the same time mitigating the confuse, I do keep track with my supervisor in tactly - submitting my writing every week, without fail. At one time, my supervisor was showing a fed up outlook because she hadn't read the report, but I kept on asking persistently - I can read between the lines. I did understand because she's active in doing research, and time is somewhat a limitation.

Damia pula ada kudis di pinggangnya, yang tumbuh baru 2-3 hari. Anak dara beb, mestilah risaukan... kurang seribu nanti, heheh. Sekarang ada sebab untuk Damia konsisten dengan potty training, sebab alasan yang Dr Elancovan beri bagaimana kudis ini menghinggap pinggang Damia adalah kerana pengewapan diapernya, ye lah, 24/7 pakai diaper. Alhamdulillah, dengan oitment yang Dr kasi, InsyaAllah dalam 2 hari akan reda jangkitan kulatnya.

Paling tak best hari ini, mood masih ke laut dan ada kerja2 pembacaan dan correction tertinggal di rumah. I'm going home early today gamaknya...

Happy birthday dear Damia...

2011-02-16T02:22:00.000-08:00

Wahai anakku Damia,

Mungkin Damia akan membaca coretan ibu tentang kehidupan kita sekeluarga dari banyak sumber, namun pada hari ini ibu akan mengenang hari kelahiran anak sulung ibu yang sangat dinanti-nanti ibu dan ayah.

You have turned 3 yesterday, and you have grown so fast and so gracefully, till I hope the time shall stop so you'll remain with me, with all your tanthums and behaviours which always pinch my inner spot. I miss your consideration when I am tired, your responds towards my questions and how you have learnt so much compared to your little age.

Damia anak yang menyenangkan. Jarang sekali ibu mengalami morning sickness, cuma fatique membawa badan yang besar ibu termasuk kantung kecil di dalam perut ini. Kandungan ini sebenarnya tidak disangka2, kerana ibu baru lepas berhenti pil perancang yang dimakan ketika masih belajar Masters. Diberi 3 minggu tanpa pil, embrio Damia jelas kelihatan apabila discan oleh Dr Aishah - she's more excited than me where I was still in shock when she broke the news. The plan was to check on my fatigue but end up with this happy news. Ayah, on the other hand, also in shock. He said, "Oh, ok, we'll have a kid soon."

Damia anak ayah, sangat rapat dengannya. Sampai ke toilet pun Damia pernah tunggu sampai ayah keluar. Dan kasih Ayah pada anak ini tidak ada penghujungnya. We were having this expectation all this while, never expect from you - because you don't know/ understand anything. There's no point to scold on something you don't totally understand. Walaupun ada tahap kesabaran ini dicabar, Ayah selalu ingatkan, kita kena ajar Damia - she's fragile in her ability and capacity. You picked up so fast compared to your age, like speaking. I've been informed that you are the only toddler (at 3 years old) who can speak in a proper sentences, follow instructions accordingly and know what you want. You even force yourself to speak in English (for this, I salute you!). I would like you to explore more, explore the world dear, and I'll be 2 steps behind you and giving all the support that you need. I wouldn't care what people might say about our doings, trust me, in 10 years time you can proudly say I am here and where are you then?

Ibu lahirkan Damia melalui C-section, kedudukan Damia songsang. Ibu minta pendapat 2 org doktor, tapi meleset untuk lahirkan Damia secara normal. Di KMC, ibu tetapkan tarikh untuk pembedahan - kami pilih hari Jumaat, 15 Februari 2008 - sempena mengambikl berkat hari Jumaat. Ibu berdoa banyak2 agar dipermudahkan perjalanan, ingat lagi ibu berkali-kali memohon maaf dekat ayah agar pembedahan ini berjalan lancar. Pukul 11.55am, ibu ditolak dr bilik ke dewan bedah - tapi ayah pulak hilang - rupanya tersilap masuk dewan pembedahan jantung kat sebelah. Ayah duduk jer sebelah ibu sambil pegang erat tangan ibu, terdengar doktor membaca Bismillah.. zasss perut dibuka untuk mengeluarkan bayi yang sangat comel. It takes barely 30 minutes for the whole procedures. Ayah nampak pucat, mungkin melihat live C-section, pulak tu perut ibu yang kene potong... hehehe (sampai sekarang tak ngaku). Selepas peads bersihkan Damia, terus ayah iqamatkan. Alhamdulillah.

3 hari selepas pembedahan, ibu masih tak berjumpa Damia, cuma Ayah yang berteknologi tinggi ini dtg bersama gambar Damia yang telah ditangkap dan ditunjukkan melalui skrin TV. Aduyai, rindu bukan kepalang. Hari ketiga, baru bersua muka, you look so small, and serene. Malas nak cerita polisi hospital yang tak customer friendly and supporting bf.

Masa berpantang pun Damia sangat baik. Tidur waktu malam dalam pukul 7pm, siang adalah waktu Damia menggeliat, buka mata sikit2 dan menangis - itupun sikit2. Caring for you during confinement is just fantastic, I had appropriate rests and ayah always at our side. He's all excited to see you when he came back from work - I've scolded him several times for not washing his hands and face before smooching your pouty cheeks. In shopping baby's stuffs, Ayah led me. Once he went to a conference in US, and he became daddy on shopping spree. Many things were under your name dear - clothing especially and toys...

Alhamdulillah, I am grateful to have you as my child. Hoping you'll have a good leadership, and you are the strength of our family to stay together and never be apart of some silly reasons. InsyaAllah, I will always pray for your goodness and many returns in future. I am your mother and always be that way. I always be with you in the hard times and happy times...

Fiaminillah... Allah bless my daughter, Nur Damia Nazrulhisyam...

sad

2011-02-14T00:07:00.000-08:00

I am planning to go for a trip to KL, meeting my gynae for my check ups. Since hubby will be in Kl too for his monthly meeting, getting a hotel room is not impossible in the heart of KL. I contacted Dr Masitah's nurse. suddenly she broke the news that my gynea had moved to PPWM at Setapak. Wow, that is way out of my route. Quickly SMS Ida, a schoolmate who had introduced me with my doctor - yup, she knew about it, in fact she had once visit the doctor.

Dr Masitah, a rare muslimah doctor who really care for her patients (at least this is what I felt about her). She never failed to reply my SMS and always reminding me to recite doas, even during labor. First meeting was enough to bond me with her, honestly I am very confortable with the way she perpetuates her advices, and her body gestures that never disturb the conversation. Hubby has the same feeling. And we are planning to have our third child with her, aligning with our plan to have our heir. I miss her warmth welcome everytime I visit her clinic at PMC.

Quick move is - Prince Court Medical Center. I noticed they have Muslim gynea, both sex available. But I still skeptical that I will have the same feeling with my previous gynea.

I need to discuss with hubby on this, because it pertains not only this coming checkup, but also our future plannings to bear 2 kids of ours in future. If we can plan, we care for the hands who welcomes our child.

Kids say the darndest things!

2011-02-13T22:12:00.000-08:00

On love and marriage

"If the people are wearing red trousers that means they are married." - Jason, age 4

"It's ok if they have a nice house, blond hair is nice as well." - Timmy, age 7

"I’d like to marry mummy. And then I’d like to marry grandma, and then Anya from nursery…" - John, age 4

"You can buy a paper with lots of names, then you have to send a ring to all the people in it." - Shane, age 7

How to tell who you should marry

"By seeing how much money they can give you for your birthday." - Joby, age 5

"There is a big man who points a stick at two people, if its you, you have to marry that person straight away." - Yvonne, age 6

What do most people do on a date

"They talk and then have dinner, after that I think they have kids" - Gracie, age 6

"My aunty said she was walking on air after her date, I tried it but hurt my foot when I fell off the chair." - Vallis, age 9

"They look at each other in a funny way and talk with their mouths full." - Peter, age 8

How to tell if two people are married

"People who are married fold their arms a lot and look mean." - Angela, age 5

"They ask them the time and see if they have a womans watch on their hand." - Jack, age 5

When is it ok to kiss someone

"Kissing looks like people chewing some food together." - Maria, age 7

Baru tersedar

2011-02-13T02:58:00.000-08:00

It is not easy to be a wife and a parent at the same time, neither becoming a single parent without a spouse. Sometimes it just need a simple argument for tears drop thru the eyes. It needs a shallow reason to hurt the members of the family. Wishing to survive gracefully in this live challenges, and praying hard to be a strong wife, mommy, child... Amin.

PhD journey anyone?

2011-02-08T20:20:00.000-08:00

There is only one reason to get a Ph.D. — because the career path you want to pursue requires it. Do not do it because you think it will make you feel important, because it will do the opposite. Do not do it because “there are a lot of things you could do with it”, because there are plenty of things you can do without it. Do not do it because you think it will be an intellectual adventure, because you’d do much better with a library card. ~ Daniel Lemire

p/s - credit to Bok's blog... Bok and Pue, I will go thru it for the first reason. This Lemire dude is really clear with his statement. PhD limits our subject to discover, but significant to have as an academician. Kudos to all of us!

Farm reforms key to new food policy, says council

2011-02-08T17:48:00.000-08:00

By Lee Wei Lian

May 19, 2010

Malaysia’s farmers were not being provided with adequate training, said Mitin. — Reuters pic

KUALA LUMPUR, May 19 — Malaysia must reform its approach towards farming if its new national agriculture policy is to succeed, says food security council Seacon.
This comes as the third National Agriculture Policy (NAP) expires this year and the country grapples with the vulnerability of its food supply.
Figures from the Ministry of Agriculture and Agro-Based Industries show that Malaysia was far from being self sufficient in food, and imports exceeded exports by RM9.61 billion in 2007 as compared with RM7.06 billion in 2005.

Anni Mitin, executive director of Seacon (the Southeast Asian Council for Food Security and Fair Trade) said farmers were key to food production but were not getting enough training and support in Malaysia, without which many exit the business and opt to plant oil palm instead.
“There is no allocation for training in the NAP,” she said.
She suggested that Malaysia looks at adopting practices of advanced agricultural countries, such as the option for farmers to take out crop insurance to protect them from crop failure. They are also paid by their governments to rest their land at scheduled intervals to prevent the soil from becoming exhausted.
Mitin said that Malaysia’s price controls were an issue as they prevented farmers from getting market prices for their produce.

“Malaysian farmers are being short changed,” says Mitin. “The issue of land (for farming) also needs to be addressed. There needs to be a proper policy.”

Some farmers opted to switch to oil palms. — Reuters pic

She also said sustainable agricultural practices have been “neglected” and that currently only 1,000 hectares of land in Malaysia could be classified as organic farms versus some 4 million hectares in oil palm plantations.
“The NAP should reflect more diversity in technologies and materials used, and not promote only chemical pesticides and fertilisers but not organic,” she said.
A hypermarket official contacted by The Malaysian Insider said the Malaysian farming sector needed to be more efficient and professionally managed in order to compete with foreign imports.
“Some people who are given land give up farming while those who are really interested to grow food are not given enough land,” said the official who declined to be identified. “The agricultural schemes are not professionally managed.”
He suggested that the government engage hypermarkets to help improve the farming sector, especially in the areas of technology and compliance to food-safety standards.
“Hypermarkets have the technology and the people,” he said. “Get hypermarkets to transfer the technological know-how.”

The secretary-general of the Agriculture and Agro-based Industries Ministry, Datuk Mohd Mokhtar Ismail, said recently that the vulnerability of the country’s food supply has increased as shown by the impact of oil price hikes, input prices and global food prices on our domestic supply and prices of food items.
He also said that the ministry was formulating a new NAP to cover the period between 2011 and 2020 — a critical time as Malaysia plans to achieve an advanced, high-income economy by then.
“The success of this policy will determine whether Malaysia will be food-secure or highly dependent on imports for our daily meals, taking into consideration the demands of a high-income population,” he said.
“Increasing our dependency on imported food is not a sustainable long-term strategy,” he added.

KPIs

2011-02-08T17:43:00.000-08:00

Setting my KPIs every week never fail to turn me on...

mischief Damia

2011-02-08T02:18:00.000-08:00

I had a quick chat with Damia's class teacher this afternoon, and this was what I've discovered: -

Mommy: How was Damia in the class?
Teacher Jaya: She's ok and fine.
Tak puas hati, starts to provoke the teacher...
Mommy: Dia tak naughty ke cikgu?
Teacher Jaya: Biasala budak2...
Mommy: Dia selalu cakap dia gaduh dengan Michelle...
Teacher Jaya: Betul tu, dia juga suka meludah kat kepala kawan dia.
Mommy: Cikgu marah tak dia?
Teacher Jaya: Saya marah, dia nangis. Nanti takut Mrs.S marah saya...

Ermmm, I take this as a serious attitude problem. Even though she's only three and she can't yet think rationally on the pro and the cons of her action, this need to be curbed early. I keep on giving her soft reminder whenever I came across the behavior, I think this need to be stopped. I can't tolerate anymore. I am planning to contact or meet her headmistress and discuss what are the steps to be taken to educate her to be more decent to her friends. I am ready to give part of my autonomy to the teacher, but this does not mean they can underestimating her resulting low self esteem of my child. and this, I can't deny, she's a little girl whom mature from her age, who knows what she wants. I know she can go far with a proper guidance... Amin

Where there is great love, there are always miracles...

Willa Cather

version 3.2

2011-02-07T01:36:00.000-08:00

yes, i turned 32 years old gracefully at 6.23am today. Thanks for all the birthday wishes dedicated to me, hoping all of you having abundance of joy and rezeki this year.

My day started with birthday wish from hubby before he left for his office. Then a heated argument with Kakak Damia, whom refused to wear her ordinary sandals to a tight running shoes of her's. She ended up shoeless to school when she realized it did not fit her growing feets (Oh my...!) On the way to Damia's kindy, I ran over a flock of pigeons and hit one of them. Oh oh, I felt terrible whole morning. The poor bird was having his breakfast. Soothing my guilt, I pointing hands to the person who lay the seeds at the wrong path. Why in the world that "generous person" lay the seeds on the road? To let the birds die, is it? Why can't it be at the road banks? I admitted I do take for granted on the birds reflection on intruders (they normally good at it), I can't be blamed entirely for this.

After my 12 pm class, a birthday songs sang by my students at the class aisle. Terharu beb... Thanks again dear students for making up my day back.

Thats my version 3.2 - lively with sweet, tragic and dramatic scenes.

p/s - birthday celebration will be postponed to the weekend with cakes and delicious delicacies... as for today, i'll treat my family members with home cooked meals... yummy!

Damia would be so excited if she sees these cakes

financial freedom no more...?

2011-01-26T17:11:00.000-08:00

Many have warned or stated to me once your child at school, you'll feel the financial burden. Currently the pressure of limited resource has yet to strike me, but I can feel that the money flow out of Radley little purse is having their happy-free-flow. It end up mommy need to withdraw at nearest ATM. It gave me cautious awareness to really manage and control the bills appropriately, unless I'll be stressful with scarcity of ringgit bills in my bank account. Alhamdulilah, I had Mr Hubby that I can rely on. Can I say always? Well, this way too subjective. How if both of us stuck in any predicament of ours?

I am not a feminist. But I think woman should be empowered. Meaning having their own income, belongings, assett and etc. In today rat-race world, sympathy is just perpetuate word, and most of the time did not follow with helping hands. Reading others blog, especially those with special needs child, I can see how devoted mommies toward the child life and needs. and their needs need to be special and being special, it is expensive. Managing their financial constraint on the other hand, made me grateful for all the events happen in my life. Alhamdulillah.

How to solve my problem - or shall I say, concern? I need to keep aside some fund for my saving, and keep toe on my spending which sometimes I can be mommy-is-with-her-shopping-cart.

Chow for now, there're students waiting to be polished!

p/s - I just love my work!

Lagu: ibu engkaulah ratu hatiku...

2011-01-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

Seronok dan terharu sebenarnya bila dengar Damia nyanyi lagu ni, cukup dengan pelat2 dia dan "penjiwaan" nya (siap tutup2 mata bila nyanyi) ... Hehehe

rindu dan berjauhan

2011-01-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

Masih ada 6 hari lagi sebelum En. Suami balik menemui kami kembali. semalam selepas sedikit sneek peek dr Permata, beliau menghabiskan masa 1.5 hari bersama kami anak beranak. Pelik, tapi saya puas.

Puas kerana masa yang pendek kami luangkan secara maksimum bersama. Anak2 tidak terkecuali. Aleesya yang tidak sudah2 tidak mahu berenggang dengan ayahnya, hanya mahukan ibunya bila rasa haus dan lapar. Damia seperti biasa, jinak2 merpati dengan ayahnya. Saya dapat rasakan emotional development nya berkembang dengan pesat, maka saya harus berada dengannya meneliti tingkah laku dan cara pertuturannya agar tidak bercanggah dengan budaya dan agama kita. Damia sudah faham apa itu malu, marah, rindu, sayang, dan kecewa. Cinta hati saya ini bermain semahunya dengan ayah mereka, yang acapkali mengatakan ayah perlu pergi kerja lepas ni.

Time and space separations ini telah membuat saya menghargai erti rindu kepada sang suami. Ramai orang, termasuklah saya, sering terlupa yang kita perlu mempunyai perasaan cinta, rindu dan dendam kepada pasangan walaupun sudah beranak dua, tiga ataupun lapan sekalipun. Perasaan segan, sopan dan santun juga perlu disematkan agar setiap kali berada bersama walaupun dengan anak2, terasa bagai dibuai angin cinta seperti zaman percintaan dahulu. Itulah yang saya rasa - saya puas.

Sekali sekala, bagus juga ada kursus jauh2 dan panjang2. Kita akan hargai setiap detik bersama...

rindukan sang bulan

2011-01-20T00:42:00.000-08:00

menghitung hari, detik demi detik, bilakan pula bertemu...?

p/s -lagi seminggu lebih ayah akan pulang... yippie!

a fail mother?

2011-01-20T00:35:00.000-08:00

above caption is way too strong for me to handle. i know with a little EBM, i've done my level best to keep my child healthy.

I am currently had stuck with a limited EBM, i am suspecting those bunch of cough medications which i got from the hospital, are not meant for nursing mothers. a friend said i should switch to another specialist center which far from my normal route - a better service katanya - perhaps the doctor listens to you persistently (adakah?). i've done my obligation - i've told the doctor repeatedly that i'm nursing my daughter.

Should i panic? i am avoiding the idea i'm a fail mother because i can't continue nursing my baby. I will and will do it. As i told many of my friends, keep nursing your baby, eventhough you think the supply ain't enough for her. With the help of formula - this ain't make you less a mother kan?

That's a peace of mind, a power to reason...

Aleesya has developed numerous position for this means... *wink*

Home alone with the kids

2011-01-11T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'll be alone handling the kids for about a week, and another week with the help of my parents. Mr hubby is all the way for his management competency evaluation for 2 weeks' at Permata. I wish I could join him so that I can spent on the credit card as my therapy.

Kudos to me, and my rugrats!

1st cry broke out

2011-01-11T01:00:00.000-08:00

Today as I was visiting Pantai Hospital for my sinutis appointment, and later manourver to Laguna Merbok to pick up Damia after school, there I saw my brave little Damia was all in teary moment. She cried and cough causing her to vomit much of her phelgm. Poor baby. Her headmistress too was quite surprise that her voice v/s the excited children waiting to go back were at the same level. See now you caused her crying on something, kindly enjoy her high pitch then.

Later that I knew one of her classmates had pushed her from the little stool she was seating. Trying to be a mother who teaches good moral values to her kid, I advice her following: -

Me: Berdosakan gaduh2...
Damia: A-ah kan, Tuhan marah kan...
Me: Lain kali kalau friend tolak ker, cari gaduh ker, kakak tells teacher okay. So that teacher can scold him. Can you do that?
Damia: Okay...

She sobbed sometimes when she remembered the incidence. Poor baby, she has always being the bully in the house, but now what goes around comes around for this little kid. I am keeping faith on this - she's learning for life. I do not want to intervine so much on how the teachers handle such situation, cuma jangan sampai patah riuk udah ler. You'll see me in court then. Hehe

OMG

2011-01-06T00:32:00.000-08:00

I've so many things to share but I have little time to write. I am currently a soccer mom (even though I have only 2 children currently). Why? Mom have enrolled Damia to kindergarten, that's why. I had to juggle sending 2 different places before I reach to my final destination, the office. Changing rutin, man, can be excellently hard. Some say Damia is still too yound to be schooled. I know no. 3 is just considered too little to be tourchered with all academia stuff, but this is different. She'll have ample time to socialize with others and some adult who gives instruction which she needs to obey :) This is the fifth day at school, she abide on my scheduling like taking her bath early in the morning without hot shower (Mr hubby has yet to fix it :(), finishing up her ribena, and eat on recess time. There's several time she admitted that she been scolded by her teacher, all because her fault - this is a good development, at least makan saman budak kecik ibu ni...

All she said that, I still want to go to school tomorrow. I am a proud mommy when the headmistress was impressed with her for not clingy to me, while others having a hard time to seperate with the parents or the maid. I still remember she said "Ibu drop aje, jgn ikut kakak gi school tau??" Good thing that I brought Mr Hubby along, soon dropping her at school and tatatititutu, we had our long lost courtship heheh. She carries herself well too, obeying to instruction is one example. Just a day before, one of her teachers said she's mature compared to her age. And just now, her teacher was telling me how well she ate all by herself (I wonder how her counterparts might survive if they can't eat on their own???) I've reminded the headmistress that Damia is a picky eater, only then she recognize the remark when Damia rejected to eat the corn. I must ask the teacher to trick her so that she'll take the vegetable kan?

I must admit that I FORGOT to pick her up on time. I was late around nearly 2hours. After the meeting with SPR in Alor Star, I had another meeting with my practicum students which dragged me with other chores. Errmm, the kindy would charge me extra to the late pick up, which I don't mind as it was my mistake and my sugar plum is in a good hand. Mr Hubby had a great laugh when I called him to share my absent mind.

Oh yes, Damia pick up a new word and very well in expressing them. I bought her potato chips and chocolate milk after picking her up, and make a turn (a harsh one's I guess), making chips fall on the back seat, and she said this, " Oh my God!, Oh my God!" for several times, while she try to pick them up to the plastic again. Wah baru seminggu dah banyak vocab baru, a good thing right?Aleesya on the other hand had an ear infection due to her runny nose. Poor my chubby baby. Tak pe, balik ni ibu dan kakak gomol2 awak...

Hectic week, many to come...

p/s - will download pictures of Kakak in kindy soon.

Terkini mengenai Prof Dr Rokiah Ismail

2010-12-29T22:59:00.000-08:00

Salam 1 Malaysia kepada rakan2 follower & silent readers,

I just had the news that Prof Dr Rokiah is in her critical phase due to to her past sickness, breast cancer. She still hospitalised, and her progress is quite slow.

For those friends whom is located in Klang Valley, you may pay her a visit. I wish I could do so but time and space separates us. I am currently at up North and there is little chances for me to fly there as the classes will be commencing soon.

I wish her to get well.

p/s - Prof is one of my favourite lecturer and she is specializing in Criminology. And I still remember I did cohabitation and domestic violent mini projects in her subject. She is too telling me that having all daughters are fine, broking the dominant Malay culture inside me. She's like a mother, soft spoken, patiently listen to your premises before letting her mind to you... Oh I just miss my time back in Masters because there I learn that things are not easy to get, the higher position you'll have, the humble you'll be. I adore many of my Proffessors - aiming to be just like all of you (despite of the violent political games that I've observed). Moral of the story: Man, they are all out people!

akhirnya disember 2010

2010-12-21T22:47:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah, itulah kata2 yang boleh mengungkap apabila dpt menarik nafas lega kerana tahun ini akan berakhir. Selesai sudah semua KPI yang tersemat di dalam diary ini.

Senarai semak untuk tahun hadapan sedang dilakukan. Banyak juga projek penulisan yang akan dijalankan, mohon agar tak da hickups di tengah jalan...

Esok ada latihan koir untuk hari Kualiti, saja suka2 nak mengglamourkan diri bersama2 sidekicks di penghujung tahun - lagu pulak bukan calang2 depa ni pilih - you raise me up dan lagu Casey.

Tinggal beberapa hari lagi, rumah akan diserbu oleh ibu bapa, ibu bapa mertua, ipar duai, anak2 kecil dan pembantu rumah ipar duai. Semuanya adalah 12 org dewasa. Sangat gembira untuk menerima tetamu ini, yang lebih gembira adalah Damia, sebab semua sedara2 kecil dia ada bersama. Kami ingin ke Langkawi untuk menghabiskan kederat untuk year end sales di sana. Menginap di Pelangi Beach Resort, mungkin kami akan melawat sedara chef kami di Dcoconut Gunung Raya Resort - untuk santapan yg enak2 disana (boleh dpt complimentary ke Che Epot?) Satu lagi agenda adalah swimming untuk anak2 dan mak bapak budak... heheh yang herannya, swimming suit pulak tersilap letak... ishhh

PTK berlalu dengan kenangan yang sangat menarik. Kajian social networks saya ada mata2 yang memandang dingin, tetapi ada antaranya ingin berkolabo untuk masa hadapan. Salah seorangnya adalah Annis dr Faculty of Architecture untuk mengkaji bahagian social impact dalam kajiannya. Sapa kata kajian ini tiada impaknya...? :) Rasanya dah buat sehabis baik, harapn menggunung agar ini dpt di buat santapan naik pangkat masa hadapan... InsyaAllah...

Baru sahaja balik dr tadika Wonderful Years di Laguna. InsyaAllah akan enroll Damia sbb tertarik dgn environmentnya, Headmaster nye, aktiviti yang tiada homework, and testimonial rakan2 dan yang telah dibaca di tadika tersebut. Saya ini sangat bercita2 tinggi. Jadi sedikit picky untuk memberi tangan2 yg akan mengolah anak saya yang masih kecil dan mcm spongebob - menyerap apa yang ada disekelilingnya. Kalau En Hubby bersetuju, 27hb ini akan menjadi sejarah Damia dihantar ke sekolah. Satu lagi memang Damia yang meminta ingin ke sekolah... rajin kakak rajin belajar ye, dalam pada masatu jgn lupa main, nanti you'll miss your childhood plak dan salahkan ibu... ^_^

Penat badan, penat otak, kerja kene jalan...

My Friday and Monday

2010-12-06T07:34:00.000-08:00

We went to Motor Show 2010 at PWTC on last Friday. Awesome concept and commercial cars. I must say that Proton isn't left out in this exhibition by promoting its sleek design cars. I managed to snapped great pictures, but at this moment I can't downloading those pics - do not know what's wrong with my blue tooth device. Despite of hurting my foot on the walking, I am satisfied with what ever we saw.

Changing car on the other hand, needing us to rethink on our decision. It some sort upsetting me when discovering the disclosed car which I've been waiting since January was not satisfying my desire to have bigger space for my kids. My main concern is space equal to price. I am just being a smart consumer with brains. I wouldn't want to pay extra for inefficient engine that cost me on the fuel. I am also looking on the horse power of the engine that I wouldn't want pay extra for my road tax and insurance yearly. And partly, the design. These things hardly comes in a package - making my heart and brain undecidable, uncertain, confuse and etc. So our hunt is still on... we'll test drive another bigger option on Wednesday...

Today is Monday. I am all tired with not enough sleep the night before, and attending CSSR conference again at PWTC. Had my first jockey service at Sri Pacific Hotel since the parking spaces were jam-packed. With the flat that I've gotten from the event, and RM10 extra for the service - my old car is in the same row with Camero, Fair Lady, Volvo XC90, Ferrari and Porche. Not bad for an experience huh??!!

Back to the conference, I was scheduled to present tomorrow's morning session (at about 11 am) but I managed to squeeze myself into today's late afternoon slot. I am all not prepared, opps correction - prepared verbally but not physically. I left my thumbdrive at home.

Thanks to my lil bro that managing and e-mailing my slides after a phone call. However, slacking on the slow internet connection (Maxis oh Maxis) that kept me waiting for about 40 mins at the secretariat room. Thanks too to the secretariat team members that giving me ways on using the lappy and excellent internet connection. I would like to thank Dr Maniam as the said chairman of the session, for giving me the consent and opportunity to present and indirectly, skipping on the next day session - a public holiday (Maal Hijrah). Million thanks!!!

So that I am so blessed today, I gave myself a soothing pamper - manicure & pedicure. I just like to see my clean and shining nails. Observable Damia said she wants this too... (should I say Oh oo?)

Hubby is still working on the hole digging, sprinklers and the seeds - Yang, I pray for the orchard to grow like our loves grow... Missing you already la...

yes yes yes, i am all ready to go back home....

2010-12-01T22:04:00.000-08:00

Love it! I just need to prepare on my presentations. Stay on lucks, we shall strive.

PTK oso an adventure you know... dey!

I am wishing my dreams with hubby would come true, tunggu till I complete my chores in 2 weeks time and will plan for future endeavors... I just love my life!

susu merudum dan cubaan untuk elakkan stress

2010-11-30T19:46:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Dah 2 minggu stress dengan kerja2 akademik yang tak berhenti-henti menyinggah dan melabuhkan bontot di in-tray saya. White board saya pun penuh dengan tugasan2 yang perlu di 'slash' untuk memastikan saya dalam landasan yang betul, mengikut deadlines. Alhamdulillah, setakat ini saya boleh menarik nafas setengah lega kerana setengah drp kerja2 sudah dibereskan.

Kelegaan itu mempunyai nilainya. Susu badan turun naik membuatkan saya sentiasa panik. Ditambah pula sang suami yang gemar memberi komen yang konstruktif dan terdapat elemen2 distruktif (mungkin di telinga saya saja kot - biasalah orang tengah stress - kengkadang emo terlebeh). "Minum susu Anmum, ni dah jarang minum..." katanya. Yelah, makcik nak turunkan berat badan, Lutut ni hai, rasa mcm dah tak tertanggung dek badan nih. Lelaki hanya tau compaint jer kan, am I right? Heheh, ada satu masa hubby compaint, pe lagi penangan yg sangat baik you,"You pun sama kan yang" - hubby pun senyum simpul2... end the conversation ^_^

Jap lagi nak gi EPF, Vital Years dan RHB bank. Harap2 dpt kurangkan stress I...

p/s entry yg ntah apa2 ntah

Kata-kata bernas dr Tan Sri Syed Mokhtar

2010-11-24T22:07:00.000-08:00

Saya pernah berjumpa dengan Tan Sri in-person di rumah mak mertua saya, dan pernah dipuji olehnya di atas teh tarik yang saya buat khas untuk Tan Sri. Orangnya sangat simple, memakai kemeja dan seluar slack, datang bersama driver yang hanya memandu Perdana Executive. Percakapannya sangat-sangat humble dan down-to-earth. Dalam kepala saya berlegar2 mcm mana nak jadi macam dia, kaya dan being a commoner.

Ini adalah sebahagian keratan interview beliau dengan pihak media yang saya sisip dr laman blog Pnut: -

1. Ada sebab kenapa saya bekerja seperti tiada hari esok. Agenda sosial dan kerja-kerja kemasyarakatan itulah antara sebabnya. Saya mahu meninggalkan warisan untuk anak bangsa yang kekal berpanjangan.

2. (Berkenaan know who) Bangsa lain tak mengapa tapi orang Melayu kena berdamping dengan orang politik sedikit-sedikit. Tapi masalahnya kita tidak mahu melalui kesusahan; banyak yang mahu senang dengan mendampingi orang politik semata-mata.

3. Tiada apa-apa rahsia. Saya ini hamba Allah biasa, budak dangau macam saudara semua juga. Tuhan jadikan manusia ini sama sahaja. Proses kematangan saya yang membezakannya. Saya percaya sesiapa pun boleh menjadi apa sahaja asalkan mereka berusaha dengan tekun. Tetapi tentulah ia memakan masa. Tiada jalan singkat.

4. Saya mengenali kekuatan dan kelemahan saya. Apa yang tidak mampu buat saya akan minta orang lain tengok-tengokkan. Saya melalui jalan yang susah tapi itulah jalan yang kekal.

5. Kita perlu menggunakan kepakaran mereka (bangsa Cina) kerana mereka jauh lebih maju dan mahir daripada kita. Apa yang kita kurang faham kita berkongsi dengan tujuan untuk belajar dengan mereka. Apabila sudah faham baru kita boleh menjaga kepentingan kita.

6. Saya sedih melihat sistem sekolah pondok di Kedah. Saya ada cita-cita mahu memodenkan sekolah pondok. Kita kena maju.

7. Saya terlibat dalam perniagaan ini kerana saya tiada pilihan lain.

8. Untuk memajukan perniagaan, memang kena banyak sabar dan kuat berusaha.

9. Tidak ada jalan singkat. Saya belajar tentang perniagaan ini sejak kecil lagi dan saya juga biasa kena tipu.

10. Saya pun suka kemewahan. Saya pun suka tengok dunia, ke Tokyo, New York dan London. Saya pun suka pakai baju elok. Tapi kita hendak bermewah setakat mana, hendak pakai baju banyak mana, hendak tidur dalam berapa rumah satu malam, hendak makan pun sampai larat mana?

11. Dalam hidup ini kita sebenarnya tidak ada status; ada masa diatas, ada masa di bawah.

12. Ketika Allah memberikan kemewahan, kita kena turun ke bawah, tengok mana-mana yang boleh dibantu. Allah beri rezeki melalui kita untuk kita tolong orang lain. Rezeki itu bila-bila masa dia boleh ambil balik. Jika ada orang korporat Melayu yang tidak mahu turun ke bawah mungkin kerana bayangan duit itu lebih kuat daripada yang lain.

13. Korporat Cina turun ke bawah membantu. Orang Cina ada pelbagai persatuan. Kita tidak ada; kalau ada pun berpecah. Orang Melayu kita tidak mahu bekerjasama kerana perasaan dengki menguasai diri. Sudahlah tak mahu berusaha, apabila orang lain berusaha mereka marah.

14. Rezeki yang ada itu sebenarnya untuk orang lain. Memang dari segi hukum pun begitu. Kita kena keluar zakat dan fitrah. Tetapi zakat fitrah banyak mana sangat. Islam agama yang adil; ia minta sedikit saja. Oleh itu, kalau ada duit yang lebih ia seharusnya dibelanjakan dengan baik.

15. Saya tak kisah kalau saya tak buat semua ini. Saya boleh tak buat apa-apa dan balik ke Alor Star. Tetapi saya rasa hidup ini sia-sia. Orang Kedah kata kalau mati nanti mata tidak tutup rapat kerana tanggungjawab depan mata kita tidak buat. Orang lain ambil kekayaan kita, ambil hak kita dan pergunakan kita, kita masih tidak buat apa-apa !

16. Saya ada emotional attachment kepada agama, bangsa dan ummah. Saya bukan individualistik. Diri saya tidak penting. Pangkat dan gelaran ini kepada saya tidak mustahak.

17. Saya sedih media tonjolkan saya begini. Saya malu kerana orang Cina kaya beratus-ratus kali ganda daripada saya. Tapi saya tahu orang Melayu kalau hendak berjaya kena kerja kuat tidak kira siang malam. Kita ada kekuatan yang Tuhan beri melebihi daripada bangsa lain. Tetapi untuk maju kita perlu berusaha.

18. Saya asal daripada tidak ada apa-apa. Apa yang saya tidak tahu saya belajar, minta tolong daripada orang. Saya tidak malu. Saya bukannya mencuri. Saya usaha sendiri. Sikap pemalas dan pemalu ini yang orang Melayu kena atasi. Kita kena berani kerana benar. Apabila kita dapat keuntungan dan rezeki lebih, bolehlah kita menolong orang.

19. Kaya itu bukanlah kepada diri sendiri. Kaya itu adalah kepada kumpulan perniagaan ini, kepada bangsa dan kepada orang ramai. Saya hanya memegangnya untuk sementara sahaja.

20. Saya tiada keinginan untuk menyimpan kekayaan ini untuk anak dan isteri. Duit ini tidak akan kekal. Saya percaya hanya perkara yang baik yang kita lakukakan akan kekal. Bukan duit yang akan melindungi saya nanti tapi apa yang saya lakukan sekarang.

21. Saya perlu terus mencari peluang dan perniagaan lain supaya kita terus dapat bantu orang lain mengembangkan diri masing-masing. Saya bukan buat semua ini untuk diri saya semata-mata.
22. Ada juga yang saya usaha tapi tak dapat dan orang tak tahu. Apa yang saya dapat itu yang jadi masalah kononnya Syed Mokhtar sapu semua. Bangsa lain memegang pelbagai kepentingan dalam ekonomi, siapa pun tak kata apa. Ini masalah orang Melayu. Di kampung orang Melayu berpecah kerana politik, di bandar berpecah kerana ini (wang).

23. Saya percaya kalau rezeki itu Allah beri kepada saya ia bukan untuk saya tetapi untuk orang ramai juga. Orang tidak tahu banyak syarikat yang saya ada ini gagal dan tidak maju kepada saya tetapi orang tidak tahu.

24. Banyak orang percaya bahawa dia mesti ada RM10 juta atau RM20 juta dalam tangan baru hidup boleh selamat. Ini yang menyebabkan mereka hanyut daripada menolong orang lain. Mereka lebih takutkan diri sendiri. Mereka lupa bahawa kekayaan tidak boleh membantu selama-lamanya.

25. Orang kata saya takda duit tapi banyak hutang. Orang berniaga mana yang tak berhutang. Tapi mesti tahu bagaimana hendak meminjam dan membayarnya semula. Ada cara boleh kita buat. Tapi sebelum berhutang RM100 juta mesti sudah fikir bagaimana hendak membayarnya balik. Mesti ada tanggungjawab. Banyak orang mahu senang tapi tidak ramai yang mahu bertanggungjawab.

26. (Perasaan setiap kali mendapat rezeki). Saya ini kata orang Kedah, lebai kodok bukan lebai pondok. Tapi saya tahu hal-hal asas. Kalau mahu saya minta terus dari Tuhan. Tuhan beri manusia akal dan fikiran. Kalau hendak pakai baju dan seluar biarlah padan dengan badan.

27. Kesenangan yang saya perolehi ini datang dengan tanggungjawab (bila pinjam bayar balik dan buat amal jariah). Kalau hendak dibandingkan dengan bangsa lain, perniagaan saya ini tidak ada apa. Tetapi walaupun sedikit tetapi yang sedikit itu ada berkatnya.

28. Saya suka kalau nikmat sedikit yang saya dapat itu orang lain boleh berkongsi sama.

29. Saya kadang-kadang kecewa dan sedih melihat anak orang alim yang sesetengahnya lupa diri setelah mendapat kekayaan. Saya pun sama seperti orang lain suka hendak ke luar negara tetapi kita tidak boleh lupa kubur kita dan asal usul kita. Di kampung kita mungkin ada jiran-jiran yang perlukan bantuan.

30. ……kalau tidak mungkin saya sudah ke Haatyai dan jadi nakal. Saya manusia yang banyak buat kesilapan. Tetapi saya insaf, beristighfar dan jalan lagi. Sejak awal saya ada kesedaran mahu mengekalkan hak kita sebagai orang Melayu.

31. Saya kata kepada diri sendiri kalau kerana itu saya terpaksa bersusah sedikit pun tidak mengapa.

32. Kekayaan ini Tuhan beri kepada saya untuk saya menolong orang lain pula. Saya percaya kepada keberkatan rezeki. Hari ini kita tolong orang, esok lusa orang akan tolong kita pula dengan cara yang lain.

33. Kalaupun tidak sanggup tunggu 34 tahun seperti saya berilah sedikit masa untuk faham selok belok perniagaan, Insya Allah boleh maju.

34. Kita jangan cepat putus asa. Putus asa boleh tapi kena cepat-cepat kuatkan semula semangat untuk bangkit balik. Jangan jadikan agama hanya satu tempat untuk kita bergantung apabila kita susah. Tanggungjawab ibadah adalah tugas seharian.

35. Lifestyle ? Saya tidak ada lifestyle yang kena masuk kelab sana dan sini. Tapi tak semestinya saya tidak boleh turun ke kelab. Orang Melayu kalau hendak ke depan mesti ada cara hidup yang fleksibel, boleh naik dan turun.

36. Lifestyle ini sebenarnya satu penyakit. Saya biasa pakai Mercedes tapi sekarang saya pakai Proton Perdana untuk sokong kereta nasional. Kereta itu pun cukup untuk bawa saya ke mana-mana.

37. Tiada sebab orang kenapa Melayu tidak boleh maju. Ini saya berani perang dengan sesiapa pun. Orang Melayu boleh maju. Kalau saudara jadi wartawan saudara kena tanam semangat suatu hari nanti mahu ambil alih akhbar ini. Tidak ada sebab kenapa ia tidak boleh berlaku.

38. Kejayaan dan kelemahan orang Melayu bukan disebabkan oleh bangsa kita dan agama kita. Ia berkait dengan sikap dan cara kita berfikir. Gigih, tekun dan tidak mudah putus asa merupakan kunci kejayaan kita. Tapi perkara ini kurang wujud dalam cara orang Melayu berfikir.

39. Tuhan memberi peluang kepada siapa saja yang bekerja kuat. Apa yang ada pada saya ini hanya usaha. Kalau anak dangau macam saya boleh, tidak ada sebab orang lain terutama mereka yang dari pekan tidak boleh.

40. Kita tidak usahlah selalu mengulang-ulang perkara yang boleh memberikan kesan psikologi negatif kepada orang Melayu (kereta dan rumah besar). Kita kena kurangkan bercakap tentang kereta besar dan rumah besar. Sesiapa pun mahu pakai kereta mewah tapi bukan itu matlamatnya.

41. Orang Melayu sebenarnya kena membantu diri sendiri, kena bekerja keras dan fokus.

42. Sikap merendah diri perlu sentiasa ada dalam diri seseorang walau setinggi mana pun kejayaan dicapai.

43. Apa yang saya buat ini (kerja-kerja sosial) semuanya bermula daripada didikan orang tua saya sendiri.

44. Saya sendiri berhutang sambil berniaga dan buat sumbangan amal jariah. Saya tak mahu tunggu hutang habis baru hendak buat semua ini. Saya takut kalau hutang habis saya pun mati dan apa pun tak sempat saya buat.

45. Saya biasa saja. Hidup saya tidak berubah, dari dulu beginilah. Saya terima apa saja nikmat yang diberikan oleh Allah. Tidak ada segelas air, ada setengah gelas pun saya bersyukur.

46. Kalau kerana sedikit bantuan itu mereka lulus peperiksaan dan hidup mereka menjadi lebih baik, saya sudah gembira. Saya tidak boleh buat banyak. Alhamdulillah, lebih baik buat sedikit daripada tidak buat langsung.

47. Saya tiada minat untuk beli kapal layar atau kapal terbang. Saya fikir kalau saya beli sesuatu biarlah orang ramai boleh pakai. Saya suka kalau saya beli sesuatu yang mahal, biarlah orang ramai boleh pakai.

48. Saya gembira dapat membantu. Saya mahu orang lain merasai (kesenangan) apa yang saya pernah rasa. Saya tahu bagaimana perasaanya. Saya kata kepada diri saya, apa yang saya dapat saya mesti beri orang lain merasainya sama. Jangan beri kurang, lebih tak mengapa. Itu yang membuat hati saya seronok.

49. Saya rasa saya ingin menyumbang lebih daripada ini. Saya kata kepada kawan-kawan ini baru warm-up saja; kita belum berjalan lagi. Saya rasa kita terlalu banyak ketinggalan.

50.Kalau pun tak mahu membantu orang melayu, lebih lebih lagi Islam jangan lah kita tergolong atau bertanggung jawab menyumbang pada pembunuhan kegiatan amal orang melayu dan Islam.

today's activities

2010-11-24T00:30:00.000-08:00

My in-tray is piling up with unfinished tasks and I am overwhelming with my own condition. Pounding head always accompanying me at the end of the day. I am so tired to bring about some work to complete it at home (in my dream!)

The whole day was dedicated to SKT, a form that determine your performance for the whole year. I am indeed felt I am at the 'ok' level even though had my 2 months maternity leave in the mid of this year. With at least 4 researches and 7 other writings in progress for publications - I know I can survive for this year appraisal. To get above excellent is quite impossible, but I pray for the best then.

Our dept. was in plan to have family day at Bukit Merak Lake Town Resort over the weekend, and because this is semester break cum school holidays, few friends had taken a looong leave. Due to that, some of the members thrown an idea to have luncheon at Naim Gulai Semilang - I would say this gerai is 2 thumbs up! So we had our lunch there just now, without Jaja and Mujib (on leave) and Dir, Jun and Lyn (stuck in a looong meeting). Lyn was smsing me how hungry she was - poor mommy-to-be, I know how hungry you were dear...

Otherwise, had my new shades last week and it looks pretty on me (~~perasan~~). Bila lagi nak pakai ek?

^_^

Kenapa nak sombong sangat???

2010-11-13T17:47:00.000-08:00

Pagi ini saya seperti biasa pergi membeli breakfast cum lunch sbb nak berkampung di dalam bilik utk menyelesaikan 2 bundles skrip sebelum cuti raya haji ini. Saya dalam keadaan good mood hari ini. Selesai mengambil apa yg diperlukan, saya memberi signal kepada org dapur utk membayar. Seorang perempuan yang saya rasa umur lebih muda dari saya bernama Wahida (saya terdengar seorang makcik dr dapur memanggil namanya utk jadi cashier), datang dengan muka cuka yang telah expired.

Saya yang amat amat suka memerhati dan menganalisa, menyerahkan makanan saya untuk dibungkus. "RM5.20", katanya kepada saya. Saya serahkan bulat2 nilai harga yang telah dikenakan. Saya rasa ini cukup menggembirakan para peniaga. Namun, harapan saya meleset. Wahida membiarkan makanan berbungkus saya di atas meja dan ada plastic dibawahnya, dan saya rasa beliau memberi signal yang beliau tidak akan membungkus utk saya. Dalam hati saya berdetik, "did she expect me to do it? even though no people queing behind me?". Fikiran analisa saya terganggu apabila Wahida menghempaskan calculator disebelah makanan saya. "Amboi, ingat aku ni student ker? Adakah sebab aku pakai sandle crocs yang lusuh dan beg sling Marc n Spencer aku?", mulakah hati berkata2 dengan jahatnya.

Saya amat kasihan dengan Wahida, jika dialah yang berniaga sendiri dengan attitude begini, rasanya tak lama bankrup la jadinya. Bukan org tak suka dengan masakan team mereka (kiranya berasa-lah), tapi attitude sorang persorangan perlulah dibetulkan. Maaf, bukan tidak mahu menangkan bangsa sendiri, tetapi ada barangan-barangan tertentu (terutamanya yang berkos tinggi), saya perlu merujuk dan membeli kepada bangsa lain kerana soft skills dan mutu perkhidmatan yang mengangkat saya seperti si raja pembeli.

Dah rasa lega, mari buat kerja akademik pula...!

This is what I learnt today

2010-11-11T03:21:00.000-08:00

I had just completed a partial markings for one of the codes that I tought, 2 bundles altogether. And now I'm pumping my milk stock off for tomorrow, while my room clock is heading to 7 p.m. I decided to stay for Maghrib. No doubt, my head is still pounding after brain cracking session for almost 10 hours, haish!

My checklist is running high. These are some of the things pending still on my tray: -

1. CSSR corrections (2 papers); mainly on the changed format recently - I am lucky to have friends that always lending their hands;
2. CSSR add names - trying hard to include a friend who has always help me in academia world;
3. Marking, marking, marking - this means cracking head sessions for another 2 bundles;
4. FRGS proposal, a reflective paper and its presentation slides;
5. Finding back all my files and copying it to my newly lurvy desktop (just received it today, I'm overwhelmed!)

This is what I learnt today:

Despite of learning to the fact that I've got this new computer, to achieve where you wanted to be in 5 years time is by helping others. We need this helping behaviour regardless you feel that you're competing with each other. I am totally digest with the idea that in this arena, being lonesome is not a wise move - with that, I learnt by witnessing one of my senior did so and being so successfull. I am not a high aimers in this game of career, I mean on the administrative post and all, but writing and producing a paper and seeing it imprinted on a book, journal or any other medium of production - is a total satisfaction. I am addicted to it, I must say.

So be nice to others, InsyaAllah we all could get the capital accumulation benefits out of it.

my next aim

2010-11-11T00:04:00.000-08:00

a radley handbag...

Penat

2010-10-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

Saya penat rasa ketinggalan

Saya penat bila individu menyaratkan kepala ini

Saya penat rasa kekosongan

Saya penat memarahi

Saya penat merasionalkan apa yang perlu di buat

Tolonglah, berhenti!

Finals & ICUDM 2010

2010-10-25T01:18:00.000-07:00

I was invigilating my own paper this morning, what a coincident right? All of my students were behaving and giving their full concentration on answering those quite tough quests. And currently, I am on my 4th answer booklet and I felt dizzy with their hand writing (~~buruk2 belaka~~), and it forced me to stop and write this entry. Perhaps they had so many to write yet chasing the clock... :)

It is 4pm, and soon I'll be heading to Kuala Lumpur to attend ICUDM 2010 tomorrow at PWTC. My daughter is so excited to see her Opah and Atuk since I broke the news yesterday. And thanks hubby deary on accommodating and accompanying me for this time around (sebenarnya, setiap kali ada konferen, mesti dia akan teman - love it! Tapi bila dia ada konferen kat luar negeri, mesti I tak dapat ikut due to the system - u know lah).

Some information concerning the said event: -

Malaysia - International Conference on Urban Development and Management (ICUDM 2010)

All repeats
Just this repeat

Towards Sustainable Green Cities
ICUDM is an international conference focusing on topics related to sustainable urban development and management. The 1st ICUDM conference was held in 2003 at Langkawi, Kedah. Since then the conference had attracted many researchers, academics and engineers from local and foreign. ICUDM10 is set up as a strong platform to fruitful interaction and exchange of ideas, the latest issues and progress of sustainable urban development and management and research result from both the academic and industry.

I am trying my best to enjoy my days in KL, apart of doing the markings at night. ^_^

Kes: Mengadu Domba

2010-10-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

Salam,

Saya terpanggil untuk meng copy-paste peringatan ini apabila hal ini sendiri telah saya alami lama dulu (~~politik tpt kerja dulu~~) dan baru2 ini terhidang di depan mata saya. Bukan berlagak pandai, tetapi sebagai peringatan diri yang semakin tua, kubur bagaikan memanggil2.

Marilah bersama-sama kita renung-renungkan...

TEKS KHUTBAH JUMAAT MASJID
SELURUH NEGERI MELAKA

TARIKH BACAAN : 01 ZULQA'EDAH 1421H
TAJUK : LARANGAN MENGADU DOMBA

Sidang jumaat yang dihormati Allah,

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman, bertakwalah kepada Allah sebenar-benar bertakwa dan janganlah kamu mati melainkan di dalam Islam. Saya berpesan kepada diri sendiri dan juga kepada tuan-tuan supaya sentiasa bertakwa kepada Allah subhanahua ta’ala dengan menjunjung segala perintah dan menghindarkan diri daripada perkara-perkara yang dilarang. Kerana sesungguhnya dengan takwa sahajalah seseorang itu mendapat kebahagiaan hidup di dunia mahu pun di akhirat.

Sidang jumaat yang dihormati Allah,

Tajuk khutbah kita pada hari mulia ini ialah’ Larangan Mengadu Domba’.

Ketahuilah, bahawa setiap muslim dan muslimat diwajibkan menjauhkan diri dari semua sebab yang menimbulkan kebencian dan perbalahan di antara sesama mereka. Terutama daripada orang yang selalu mengadu domba kerana boleh melumpuhkan kekuatan mereka. Disebutkan di dalam sebuah hadis yang diriwayatkan dari sahabat Huzaifah r.a. bahawa tatkala dia mendengar ada seorang lelaki suka mengadu domba lalu dia berkata saya pernah mendengar Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda yang bermaksud : ‘ Tidak akan masuk syurga orang yang suka mengadu domba ‘.

Saudara kaum muslimin yang dikasihi,

Wajib bagi setiap muslim yang berakal untuk tidak mempercayai hasutan pengadu domba. Dan hendaklah mereka sentiasa berwaspada dalam menerima berita dari orang-orang yang pasti di dalam surah Al-Hujrat ayat 6 yang telah dibacakan diawal khutbah tadi, Allah subhanahua ta’ala berfirman yang bermaksud : ‘ Wahai orang-orang yang beriman jika datang kepada kamu seorang fasik membawa suatu berita maka selidiklah untuk menentukan kebenaran supaya kamu tidak menimpakan suatu kaum dengan perkara yang tidak diingini dengan sebab kejahilan kamu sehingga menjadikan kamu menyesali apa yang telah kamu lakukan.

Saudara kaum muslimin yang dirahmati Allah,

Annamimah (mengadu domba) merupakan dosa besar dan sangat buruk akibatnya. Oleh kerana itu setiap muslim wajib menjaga diri agar tidak bergaul dengan orang yang suka mengadu domba atau berada dalam satu majlisnya dengannya.

Jangan sekali-kali percaya kepadanya dan berusahalah menjauhkan diri daripadanya. Sebab orang yang suka mengadu domba terkadang boleh membuat kerosakan dalam satu saat yang tidak mampu dibuat orang lain di dalam satu bulan.

Semoga Allah melindungi kita dari perbuatan mengadu domba kerana ia boleh merosakkan perpaduan, menyebabkan permusuhan dan irihati. Barangsiapa yang diadu domba dengan saudaranya maka ia wajib mengingkarinya sekalipun benar apa yang dikatakannya.

Saudara kaum muslimin,

Hati-hatilah apabila mendengar satu berita, telitilah kebenarannya apabila penyampaian orang fasik. Pengadu domba akan menerima balasan yang buruk di akhirat. Orang yang mengadu domba ini termasuk dalam golongan orang yang mencaci dan mengeji yang disebutkan tuhan di dalam surah Al-Hamzah ayat 1-6 yang bermaksud : ‘ Kecelakaan yang besar bagi tiap mencaci dan pencela yang mengumpulkan harta dan berulang-ulang menghitungnya, dia menyangka bahawa hartanya itu dapat mengekalkannya dalam dunia ini, sesungguhnya tidak, bahkan dia akan dicampakkan ke dalam ‘Al-Khutamah’ (neraka) dan apa jalannya, engkau dapat mengetahui ‘Al-Khutamah’ itu?, Al-Khutamah ialah api Allah yang dinyalakan dengan perintahnya, yang naik menjulang kehati, sesungguhnya api neraka itu ditutup rapat atas mereka, mereka terikat disitu pada batang-batang palang yang melintang panjang.

Ya Allah, afsal malas sangat nih???

2010-10-20T01:29:00.000-07:00

Seriously, I am not in the mood to cook dinner. Still on my 2 days' MC, with the eyes refuse to sleep (because I do not take my medications - managed to partially complete an academia job), I am again too tired and too lazy to visit my dear kitchen.

Is it a bad sign?

I'm gonna pick up hubby in an hour time, and will dine out tonight, with kids... you know how havoc it could be then??!!

Tata & I'll enjoy those yelling, panjat memanjat, and cry outs thingy...

Demam, selsema dan batuk

2010-10-19T19:13:00.000-07:00

Salam,

Minggu lepas hinggalah minggu ini, keluarga berperang dengan ujian Allah yang tiga serangkai ini. Kakak tumbang dulu, membawa penyakit dari keluarga si babysitter, lepas tu Aleesya budak tembam. Aleesya nampak ketara ketembaman menyusut, di sokong dengan report K.Kiah si babysitter dia minum hanya 3 botol selama 10 jam peninggalan saya ke office. Risau, mana tak risau, anak kecil yang kuat minum dan makan Cerelac, kini tidak berselera. Hidung berair, kadangkala disulami dengan batuk mendalam, kesian anak-anak ibu. Ibu sentiasa memanjatkan doa, bagilah penyakit2 itu kepada Ibu supaya anak-anak ibu boleh menikmati hari2 nan indah. Alhamdulillah, batuk dan selsema mereka berkurang.

Semalam ibu visit Dr Elancovan lagi. Nak ambik ubat yang hampir kering dalam botol-botol ubat. walaupun demam dah kebah, batuk dah surut, selsema masih laju meniti hidung Aleesya. Alhamdulillah, kakak recovering. Memang sangat mencabar semalam. Kakak yang sentiasa excited nak jumpa Dr. Elancovan tertidu dalam perjalanan. Haish! Dah la ibu sorang2 nih.... Dengan berbekalkan semangat Ibu on the go, ibu bukak booth dan capai stroller Damia, damia ibu keluarkan dahulu. Anak bambam ibu, ibu dokong. Sebelah tangan tolak stroller dan sebelah tangan ada Aleesya. Perh, trasa bangga plak sbb mampu handle sendiri...

Lepas 30 min menunggu Dr,tiba turn kita. Aleesya diminta membuat nebulizer sbb kahak kat anak tekak banyak sangat. 15 min berlangsung, tetapi hanya 5 min Aleesya menangis meronta2. Bayangkan lah tak pernah kene selesema, lebih2 lagi neb itu mengeluarkan asap, mungkin anak ibu yang sorang ni panic dengan keadaan yang serba tak selesa. Nurse plak tolong pegang Aleesya yang kuat meronta. Minit ke-6, Aleesya pun tertido, walau kadangkala kedengaran bunyi sayup2 nangis dia...

Dan semalam juga ibu dapat MC 2 hari. Doctor kata ibu tak cukup rehat. Dia minta ibu merehatkan badan dan memberi ibu ubat batuk dan selsema yang memang kaw kaw dia punya ngantuk. Hajat di hati nak buat kerja masa hantar anak2 ibu kat babysitter, tapi apakan daya, ubat menahan hajat ibu tu...

Harap2 kita semua sihat walafiat untuk berkelah di Bukit Merah Lake Town Resort hari Sabtu ini...

Step by step guideline to ucinet6

2010-10-06T00:34:00.001-07:00

Step 1: Open UCINET6 application

Step 2:

Step 3: Key in your data in the spreadsheet. Notice Page 1, each activities and behaviors that protruded among your 15 respondents can be separated here. Save it.

Step 4:

Step 5:

Contoh kerja saya yang terbaru: homophily.

Nampak tak “Rel” kat atas kanan you, tu adalah jaringan2 yang you nak dia appear.

Hoping that by this, would guide you in producing a network masterpiece.

Damia's first complete English sentence

2010-10-03T03:17:00.000-07:00

I must tell, I am the first to listened and captured this - kakak's first complete English sentence.

It happened on Friday, while I fed her little sister, and she was playing at our living hall with Disney channel on the air. She normally didn't notice I've left her to nurse Aleesya, perhaps she's too content with the channel.

Suddenly I heard someone cried out for me, "...Ibu... where are you?". I am of course in disbelieved. Trying to listen harder on that cry... Yes! She managed to construct a complete sentence in English. And when she saw me, she said in delightful way "...there you are!". And I am hereby very proud of my daughter.

While Aleesya, Damia's little sister, also has developed her first word ... mamamama.... and sayang, you've got Ibu's credit on this!

Well done my little children... You've picked up my motivation to take the next step ahead!

Family potrait

2010-09-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

This is a picture that I drawn on one of the Ramadhan night, with Damia's water based marker. I really dream on studio photo shoot for the rest of us, however haven't realize it yet. Ayah was amazed with the drawing, after a quick complement he hung the picture at our refrigerator, and still in tact there.

May a photo shoot will come true in one of these days.

Until then, I'll stay with my sweet dream of my kids posing for a great picture!

And on the candid while organizing them to pose...

Will keep all of those in our family photo album...

And revisit when I'm missing them...

May this laugh will remain with us... InsyaAllah.

Quick update: Aleesya turns 6 months today

2010-09-27T07:33:00.000-07:00

Seriously, time flies. I can't imagine, we've been this far staying put on what we believed in, the exclusive breastfeeding. And for 6 months she rely on my breast milk to stay alive and healthy, I can say this is my proud moment. And the bonding is just fantastic! Now she had reached the solid food age, she is at her growing spurt. I wish you well dear. Here some pictures that I managed to capture during her first feed at 8pm tonight: -

Aleesya first solid food - Cerelac

Ibu, I think the spoon tastes better that the thing you've feeding me.

Let me feed myself, please.

Table manners - wiping her mouth and the high chair surface with face towel that I gave her.

Macam tu la anak ibu...

Tembamnya anak ibu ni... (sorry about the flash Aleesya)

Tahniah dan selamat berbahagia...

2010-09-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

Malam ini saudara saya, Nur Zafirah akan diijabkabulkan dengan pasangan pilihan hati, Sajidin. Saya sekeluarga tidak dapat menghadirinya kerana kekangan kerja yang sangat demanding. Tahniah, dan selamat melayari bahtera ~~merdeka~~ perkahwinan.

Alhamdulillah, sebuah masjid didirikan pada malam ini, maka menangislah para Syaitan yang direjam...

p/s - counting cousin who's next...

Amin.

Aleesya demam

2010-09-19T22:25:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was her 3rd jap of her life, and at night she caught mild fever. She'd seem unsettled with the breastfeeding which I offered her and disturbed whenever Mr Hubby switched off the fan (we usually switch on the air-cond and the fan altogether to cool the room faster - our anak2, inevitably, are air-cond generations!). Even at night, she'll woke us up with her little cry for attention, and normally my breast would do its wonders.

I wish she'll be better soon, so I don't need to worry sick of her temperature, and both me and Mr Hubby and kakak can get our sleep better. Instead, I am having my little cough and occasional flu - that requires me to get some good rest.

Oh anak2, ibu loves you all (plus my other half) so much!

Takziah Ema & Pios

2010-09-19T22:13:00.000-07:00

Kepada saudara saya, Ema dan Pios yang baru sahaja bersua muka setelah 3 tahun di Scotland pada hari raya cum hari Malaysia, takziah saya ucapkan kerana kehilangan bayi yang dikandungnya berusia 4 bulan 10 hari - akibat bayi disengaged daripada uterusnya. Bayi lelaki mereka telah disemadikan di satu kawasan perkuburan Islam di sana. Agar rohnya dicucuri rahmat dan menanti ibubapanya di pintu syurga kelak.

Salam.

Plan raya

2010-09-03T07:38:00.000-07:00

Kuih tunjuk2 - checked!
Langsir - checked!
Baju raya utk semua - checked!
Tudung - 3 more to go!
Packing - starts tomorrow.
Last minute Shopping - starts monday.
EBM - still in progress.

hati tersentuh

2010-08-31T22:05:00.000-07:00

sejak kebelakangan ini, aku sentiasa melayari blog mama2 yang sangat positif meneruskan kehidupan walaupun pelbagai pancaroba melanda dalam kehidupan mereka. Anak - majoriti mereka mempunyai anak istimewa, dan menariknya bagaimana mereka berkongsi dan berbangga dengan setiap perkembangan anak2 mereka. ada juga yang telah kehilangan, seperti biasa aku sangat sebak hingga mencurahkan air mata yang banyak - dengan cara mama2 ini meluahkan rasa sayang yang terpendam, dan ada kalanya teringatkan zuriat yang telah ke rahmatullah menanti di pintu syurga. Hinggakan pada ketika ini, aku masih sebak menulis entry ini.

anak, dapatan yang sesuatu luarbiasanya - perasaan, sayang, rindu, dendam, terhadap apa jua pergerakan dan percakapan gugugaga mereka - semuanya sangat istimewa. Tidak dapat aku gambarkan bagaimana perasaan aku kepada anak2ku yang masih kecil dan meniti kehidupan yang serba mencabar ini, dan mempunyai ibu yang masih belum sempurna utk menjadi mithali bagi menunjuk arah dalam alam ini. Alhamdulillah, pemberian Allah kepada ku cukup sempurna. sehinggakan apabila mereka tidur, aku tidak puas2 membelek muka dan badan mereka. betapa aku sayang sangat pada mereka. Ya Allah, panjangkanlah jodoh kami bersama...

Bagi aku, mama bloggers yang aku follow, memang berjiwa kental dan mendapat sokongan sepenuhnya dari suami dan keluarga mereka. mereka positif dalam meredah apa jua hospital dan doktor2 yang ada utk memimimakan kesengsaraan anak mereka. hati lebih tersentuh apabila ada yang melayan anak mereka seperti anak2 normal yang lain, kerana percaya suatu hari nanti mereka akan jua keluar dr kepompong kesakitan yang mereka hadapi. walaubagaimanapun, mama bloggers ini kebanyakanya profesional, yang mempunyai kerjaya, wang dan juga bibik. Bagaimana mama yang mempunyai kesempitan? aku tidak dapat menjiwai dan merasai kesedihan mereka, dan aku pasti kesedihan mereka sama seperti mama2 bloggers ini - tetapi lebih tertekan dek ekonomi yang merudum. Pada saat2 inilah, tanganku sentiasa memanjatkan doa kepadaMu...

gejala sosial seperti buang bayi, sangatlah menyedihkan. Yang menydihkan bayi yang bernyawa dimatikan - adakah KAMU tuhan yang bertopengkan manusia? Sesak nafas ini apabila memikirkan, tetapi keadaan memaksa mereka kerana stigma masyarakat bukannya takut dengan Tuhan yang maha Esa. Sekolah utk perempuan mengandung yang ingin dibina di Jasin, melaka - menerima kutukan ramai. mengapa? dr sudut pandangan aku, ia wajar kerana perempuan bawah umur yang mengandung perlu diberikan perlindungan dan pelajaran - memberi peluang untuk bertaubat dan menyelamatkan zuriatnya - mereka bebas buat seketika pandangan serong masyarakat setempat. sekurang2nya hingga selepas melahirkan anak. Kawan aku pernah berkata, tekanan dapat membuatkan bayi lemas dan tidak selesa dalam rahim - bagaikan oven yang membakar bagi bayi ini. Kasihani lah bayi2 ini....

Kenapa sekolah ini menjadi kutukan? Sbb ianya merupakan immediate solution, bukannya permanent solution. Wahai org2 yang mengutuk bagaikan tin kosong, pls come out with better ideas ye... tolong sikit kerajaan untuk laksana tanggungjawab mereka...

Salam.

maid

2010-08-17T01:21:00.000-07:00

I had a sms from Sherly, my in-law, that might would change my life if I agreed to it - maid. The maid as she described, an Acheh lady. According to her, her brother had applied from 2 agents to get a maid and the worse case that he had paid upfront to both. You know how expensive it would be to get a maid from agent (RM7000++ is a standard rate). An agent replied with a maid that soon will be sent to their doorstep - so soon as next week. Another agent will send after raya. So the 'after raya' maid is without an employer, since my brother in-law, Ikram (Sherly's hubby) rejected the idea of having maid (due to bad bad experience, he needs time to recuperate from the disappointing and shocking event). Then Sherly directed the motion to us - 'Nak maid tak?'

At first I was giggled with nicely arranged home and folded cloths thought, or perhaps nicely cook home meals. However thinking my little ones' are all small and fragile should any harmful event happen to them that cause psychological damage permanently in their head - ohh, this would be a BIG NO NO to me. You know, many stories that we heard severely torturing kids which I can't take it at all. Furthermore, I do not have any problem with my current babysitter. I just might turn a bit scare and off hand when hubby had to outstation. He's my true side-kick!

I think I pass this time. I can still spare my time to take cleaners to do the chores for me. Hubby does not mind on those things. But if I had another child, then it's for sure to have a maid. It just not the time yet...

See how hubby responds tonight.

vacation

2010-08-15T18:34:00.000-07:00

as usual we'll spent about 5 minutes to catch up with each other before we went to bed. vacation is an interesting subject that always successfully open my eyes wide. All the while, we take for granted everywhere that we have gone to and less appreciation of such effort - perhaps it is just nearby places with swimming pool that we can spend time with kakak. so ordinary kan? this time we'll shall not wait, we'll shall not have heavy planning that end up at home again. We shall just go for it. Parents on the go... yeay...

happy birthday crave

2010-08-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

Kakak Damia was craving to have a birthday batch with cake, candles and all. She said out load this morning. She even cry when Ayah counted when shall be her birthday. "I WANT IN NOW!", she cried.

I was luck yesterday my boss handled me a box of yummy chocolate, an appreciation for my talk to DPA students. She had it, happy for a few minutes.

I know where she got this idea and crave. At the bbsitter place whereby birthdays were celebrated grandiosely at the aisle of that particular neighborhood. Good effort, but not a good thing for a mummy like me.

Sigh...

ramadhan

2010-08-09T18:30:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be our 1st fasting day. Since I've tried out my replacement fast in the past 1 month, I think I am in better shape to handle it this time. Feeding the baby for the first time around, I need to be careful with my intakes especially the fluid, to ensure I am not dehydrated at the end.

Oh yes, I haven't pay a visit to my tailor. I hope she'll not turning my request down by having a bunch of kain ela that I bought with Ayah recently. I am all sleepy now, and waiting for 10 o'clock class while pumping my stock. I am crabbier at night, especially with Ayah, but he seems cool with my tantrum, minus Damia and Aleesya's. To solve this, I really need a day a good sleep - not a nap - in fact I need a lot of naps. While driving this morning, my mind went wild to imagine how soft my pillow was in the office and quickly decided to catch a quick nap. Haha, just as I thought when I stepped into the room, my table is messed with undone and unfinished job. There goes, I was stranded with dealing with them till this moment.

What dish should I serve tonight? Erm, for sure, Orang Melaka shall have sambal... :) yummy

Welcome 1st ramadhan, and 1st sahur...

qoute of the day

2010-08-02T21:46:00.001-07:00

"A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for”

What a day!

2010-07-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

My class finito at 12pm, and I'm going to treat myself right :)

Potty training tips that work!

2010-07-25T22:52:00.000-07:00

Damia is due for her potty training...

Looking for quick solutions that will help your child learn to love his potty and ditch those diapers? Bestselling author Stacy DeBroff feels your pain (she’s a mom of two herself) and has gathered these tips to help you and your child perfect potty training…

1 Link the potty with the poop!

Start changing your child’s diaper in the bathroom so he makes the association. When he has a bowel movement, have him watch you empty it into the toilet.

2 Try the potty at the right times

Put your child on the potty first thing after he wakes up, before a nap or bedtime, 10-15 minutes after snacks or meals and whenever you notice him tugging at his clothes or shifting from foot to foot.

3 Pay attention to timing

Note what times of day your child tends to have a bowel movement – if you know when to anticipate his needs you can help him make it to the potty or bathroom in time.

4 Make friends with the flush

Toddlers can be alarmed by the sound of the toilet flushing, so have your child flush the toilet a few times to get used to the sound.

5 Get to know the potty

To build comfort with the potty, have your child sit on it fully clothed so he can check it out.

6 Think of a name

If you haven’t done so already, give your child names to use for peeing and bowel movements so he can tell you what he needs to do (make sure they’re names you feel comfortable with him using in public!).

7 Let him choose underwear

Being able to wear underwear with his favorite cartoon character on it may offer powerful motivation for your child to stay dry.

8 Provide a prop

Set aside a book or toy that your child only gets to read or play with when he’s on the potty or toilet. If he doesn’t go within five minutes let him run off to play and try again later.

9 Help nature along…

Run water in the sink or bathtub for inspiration!

10 Make the cleanup easier

Put a little water in the potty before your child uses it to make cleanup easier.

11 Make peeing fun

Add a few drops of red or blue food coloring to the toilet bowl. Your child’s urine will change it to orange or green. Challenge him to see what happens when he pees into the water!

12 Practice night-time peeing

Show your child what to do at nighttime if he wakes and needs to go to the potty or bathroom. Leave a light on so he can make his way without being scared of the dark.

13 Bypass the wet-bed woes

Double up on sheets and waterproof covers when making your child’s bed for easy middle-of-the-nigh mopping up; or lay out clean PJs and a sleeping bag for the odd accident.

14 Dress for success

Avoid fiddly overalls and one-piece sleepers so it’s easier for your child to pull down his clothing when he needs to pee.

15 Show him it’s normal!

Make a habit of visiting the bathroom whenever you go out to familiarize your child with the concept that everyone uses the toilet and to help him feel comfortable about going to the bathroom in a public place.

Sigh... Hmmmm

2010-07-20T23:07:00.000-07:00

I am at one of the lowest point in my breast feeding adventure. Having low milk supply from yesterday and uncomfortable body to move around strike me to do something about it. I have reminded my other half should he sees jantung pisang and pegaga, grab it for me. Both are hardly found here at my usual tapau places. Maybe the students don't like ulam and the selling is slow in progress. Keeping it dry and expire is not a good business strategy for the capitalist. Others, like barley and red dates effort, I should be on them again.

Tolerating with current diet after such a long time - since conceiving, I need to forget my old lifestyle. Changing it, which hubby has initiate a healthy dinner is a good start. But it ain't enough. I am formulating a diet regime that supports my milk supply for Aleesya and at the same time keeping my fats under control.

Praying hard for my determination to come and stay with me.

SHOWDOWN 2010 AWESOME

2010-07-14T18:48:00.000-07:00

I was a great fan of Showdown2010, a street dancing competition shown at 8TV. Even funnier, hubby always imitating the dancing (in his own unique way with those perut). Yesterday was it's final and it was awesome. Hafiz the host is just perfect for that event, with some of B-boyz style and very bubly.

As predicted, Wakaka won. Well, the show was democratizing the result by giving the power to the people via SMS. While professional judges were praising and having no significant in the result making. Having said that Wakaka is participated by Alam, the champion the 'Malaysia's Do you think you can dance', the result announcement was not surprising. He has developed his own fan even before the competition starts. Even though choreographically they were one of the eye-catching team, but Floor Fever whom always at the bottom 2 performed more neat every time - and they have their own style of moving around the stage. The other competitor , Giler Battle Crew (GBC) was powerful individually and very technical (I should gave credits on this), but failed to deliver a teamwork street dancing, while Wakaka is far more better then them when the final battle took place. So, the result is predictable.

On the other side, watching those audience were mostly Malays - and they were very emotional when their team had voted out - sampai nangis2.... I think being there and feeling the live surrounding would be so different compared watching the event via TV lama. What makes me wonder yesterday was, some of them brought their babies, as young as Aleesya, and with loud speakers and people screaming - how can they be staying put there?

And before we went to bed, hubby said, "Dapatkan quota 4 anak, we slim down and engage with dancing class, okay?". Terkebil2 akupun jawab, "Orait bebeh!".

Kuang kuang kuang

Menu apa ptg ni...

2010-07-14T02:21:00.000-07:00

Updating my expressed milk journal : 10am -3oz; 12.30pm - 3oz; 5pm - 4oz... :)

Menu petang ini: Chicken Fettucini Cabonara - yummy!!!

Panicking, susu merudum....!

2010-07-13T22:57:00.001-07:00

3rd day ganti puasa. I'm feeling more comfortable moving with empty stomach, and to prepare myself for Ramadhan month. However, realizing the decrement of my expressed milk at 3oz stagnant since morning, making me panicking. Okay, need to cool down, stress is no good for my susu production today.

Let's check on my diet yesterday and morning sahur: -

Berbuka: Nasi + ikan bakar + sambal tumis + sup sayur + 1 big mug of Horlick. In between before going to bed, air suam 4 glasses.

Sahur: Kurma + Fresh milk + Bread with peanut butter + A glass of Horlick.

Ermm, is it not enough? Sigh...

Oh ya, forgot to consume Fenugreek and Habatus Sauda... Should increase my sahur makan2.

Roti Impit

2010-07-13T01:22:00.000-07:00

This is my 2nd day fasting for this week. I saw Roti Impit sold by our graduate, it's a hot dog so to speak but the smell's so inviting and tempting. As I was passing by the stall on my way to my afternoon class, ermm I forgot to bring along my cute little purse. I should have brought it along, at least I can buy 2 pieces for me and hubby.

Quite tiring as I was theory laden since yesterday. I love teaching them because they're the guidance for a good writing - for both me and students. I have tired eyes, and many things to move before end of this week. On Saturday, e-pjj classes will be on, and I haven't prepare anything yet. Update files, notes, and other ordinary stuff to do before commencing those classes.

Apa menu hari ini? Yang penting ikan bakar....!

Arghhhh! Kakak!

2010-07-12T20:57:00.000-07:00

Lepas mandi, adik nangis mcm minta tolong, rupanya kakak piat telinga adik 2-3 kali depan ibu.... Pe lagi, menjeritla ibu, ayah plak kelam kabut berlari dr dapur... Drama kan?

Bila teringat balik, kelakar pun ada, kesian kat Aleesya pun ada. Ye lah, being no.2 with dominant kakak, memang membesar kene buli je....

ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

2010-07-12T18:07:00.000-07:00

Blur rasanya pagi ni, dengan mata yang dibuat2 di buka besar dan bulat. Lyn baru jer call ajak minum together2, alahai, kalau tak ingat ganti puasa ni, mmg dah join dah. Pekene air panas 1 mug, mesti segar balik. Meleset!

Ini memang satu cabaran bila anak masih kecil, bawah 7 bulan. Tadi bangun sahur, dia pun join sekali. Tak sempat nak pam habis, dia dah menjerit2 mcm minta tolong. Ayah mmg penat melayan kakak yg tiba2 nangis minta benda bukan2 tgh2 malam (e.g., cokelat). Jadi, bila Aleesya nangis, dia dah tak sedarkan diri, penat punya pasal. Lagipun Aleeesya under my 'jurisdiction'., kalau nak cakap pasal division of labor kat umahla... senang bekerja dgn ayah ni, tak berkira :) Alhamdulillah, mmg selalu doa janganla dapat lelaki chauvinist.

Jap lagi ada kelas, 1 tutorial, 1 lagi lecture. Mesti melepek la hari ni... Moga2 susu tak merudum dr segi oz...

Menu hari ini

2010-07-12T02:07:00.000-07:00

InsyaAllah hari ni puasa. Jam dah menunjukkan pukul 5 ptg, dan sedang pam susu untuk kali terakhir di ofis. Alhamdulillah, supply semua memberangsangkan walaupun tak makan hari ini. Pg tadi telan oat dan horlick 1 mug. Rasa lapar pun hanya pagi td.

Malam ni nak masak tomyam (special request dr ayah sbb dah boring mkan sup sayur tiap2 hari), ayam panggang dan nak tambah sambal - kalau ada time ler. Biasanya, balik jer ni, Aleesya nak berkepit, pantang nampak ibu duduk bersenang lenang. Kakak pulak akan main play house yg baru dibeli di Giant... cukup seronok dia sbb play house tu ada buaian dan gelongsor... Rezeki anak2...

Cakap2 pasal menu, terasa perut lapar plak.... ^_^

Introducing Nur Aleesya Nazrulhisyam

2010-07-08T06:55:00.000-07:00

Aleesya at her less 24 hours off my womb, aman jer dia tido...

Sleeping beauty, Aleesya at her few weeks old

Aleesya a furious face - kakak took most of my spot ibu!

A happy baby she is! Susu cukup, pakai pampers, nangis ada org tgk, apa lagi yg buat saya happy??

Tido itu penting untuk maintain pipi saya

Many to come

2010-07-06T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my daughter, Damia had fall asleep at 6pm. I was glad so to speak, I can concentrate on her other half, Aleesya. Aleesya, on the other hand, had this all energy to play, inviting me with her high pic tone that she made, making note she's trying to make a conversation with me. My breast was never an attraction any more at that time. Sigh, the clock is showing 7pm, ayah hasn't back yet, and ibu need to grill the chicken for dinner sake, despite preparing vegetable soup complementing the chicken.

At last at 8pm, Aleesya fall asleep after 20 minutes feeding. Thereon, had my dinner with ayah, and watched 'Leverage', undergone my pumping routine, we went to bed at 1030pm. At 3, Damia woke up and climbing to our bed, while Aleesya was beside me on her feeding. A queen bed size, it can't cater all of us. I was furious with the situation, just in case Aleesya kene hempap dek kakak. As a considerate ayah, he lift up Damia and coax kakak to be back to her bed. Aleesya refused to sleep in her cod, that she'll cry every half an hour. She wasn't requesting for feeding, but to be beside me on our bed. Carefully falling asleep with her, controlling every movement - resulting sleepiness this morning. Looking at her with her sleeping gesture, I heard she's yelling out load - this is a victory that I'm sleeping here instead of there!

Mommy dilemma...

A proud mommy I am - yes indeed!

2010-07-06T01:52:00.000-07:00

Having Cesarean does not make me less a mother - in fact, I am a proud mommy. Both of my daughters are growing day by day, meaning challenges are just around the corner of our eyes. Coping well with supporting hubby, and some colleagues whom understand my limitations, makes my days at work cheerful and meaningful, with many projects upcoming and holidays to plan.

Alhamdulilah, I am so grateful with the increment of milk supply, now that I can express 4 oz in 10 minutes I felt more safe than ever. Aleesya, much of a honey bunch who cannot resists me, and as usual my jealous sugar plum, kakak that can ride independently on her pink bike are always the reason for me to go back early. My thoughtful hubby, makes all the burden go away - Thanks!

I am enjoying my classes, even though I have 20 hours credits this semester. I think by doing so, it makes the responsibility easier to be executed and this semester will pass quickly. Despite that, my house is clean, thanks to the cleaners, and my laundry is up-to-date with my newly bought auto washer machine. My babies are on the bed consistently at 9pm, that give us approximately 1-2 hours to catch up with each other. Thanks life - you are beautiful....

1 job done...

2010-06-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

Done one academia job, and bundles are waiting to be picked up and scrutinized.

The habbatus sauda is really working on my body. Aleesya is quite demanding lately, especially on the milk. Oh Lord, I could only supply 3oz per expressing, praying hard for more supply in near future. Besides, I need to control my stress as the milk supply depending on it. If I crack my head and get stress, I can expect lesser supply.

Do anyone know who sells Alpha Lipid milk? Heard it is good for stimulating the milk duck. I'm doing all I can to breastfeed exclusively to my bb - hope to win this battle.

Over the weekend

2010-05-27T08:43:00.002-07:00

Will be spending our weekend at Avillion Admiral Cove (not sure I go this rite), tapi potong la, hubby has slim chances to join us due to problems at his workplace which he in-charge.

I hope Aleesya wouldn't develop any fever after compulsory, pnemococcal and rotavirus japs earlier today. My thermometer shows constantly at 36.5 degrees - think she shall be orait.

Any plans for Wesak Day? Shud, would you be free?

One at the time

2010-05-27T08:08:00.000-07:00

While friends are heading to Shah Alam for pra-PTK course, I am all choosing a nice template for my blog. Need a fresh new start lah after this long leave. And also, I need to think how to manage and modify my lifestyle from sleeping pattern to parenting style after Aleesya came into our life. I need to bear in mind, I'll be left without any helper - all alone, and workdays I would depending to my babysitter. Giving her 2 months the most for trial handling both of my daughters, alas I opt sending Damia to the nearby nursery from our house.

Going back to Kedah means more chores - picking up my cleaners, buy a new refrigerator and washer machine, closet for my babies, playpen, need to make some rooms for those stuff.

Starting to take fenugreek, and it helps in boosting my milk supply and bowel movements. No side effect to the baby yet and I am so grateful. Aleesya gained 2 kilos after 2mths breastfeeding - and this a moment of moral winning at my side which tells those people who do not believe in breastfeeding. Dada ini ada air la...

OMG

2010-05-14T05:38:00.000-07:00

I just contacted my friend, Shud and she's in UK (United Kingdom). This month I bet my bill is sky rocketing like never before. I knew she was at Spain last week, but how long she's on leave from her work? Man, when can I have such holiday with my family (or away from family - naahh!).

Shud, I envy u girl!

Strategi

2010-05-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Akhirnya aku dah bersedia untuk takes off dari confinement day aku. Proposal kene siapkan. Cadangnya aku nak buat satu artikel mengenai social capital sebagai jaminan aku benar2 faham akan conceptnya. I do not want to look stupid though. Ini juga sebagai janji dikotakan kepada ex-s/visor (walaupun dia lebih suka dianggap colleague sekarang), menyingkap sikapnya yang down-to-earth tapi sangat tegas bila bagi komen - alahai teringat2 masa dia komen paper conference aku! Nak belajar punya pasal, aku tebalkan muka mcm rhino. Ini semangat aku. Lebih2 lagi dia bukan sebangsa - ini yang membuatkan aku mempunyai perspektif lain yang lebih positif terhadap rakan bangsa lain.

Aku dah minta tolong Ida untuk memberikan aku cara bagaimana nak BF masa keje nanti. Dia kata kene practice dr sekarang. This means I need to express the milk on day time, every 2 hours, starting the night before. Okay, I am all committed for execution today, then I realize I am lacking of stock up bottles. Gee, I kene beli online kat momslittleones.com sbb mmg lebih murah di sana. jap lagi nak browse and place order. By this weekend, my aim is to express my milk, and attending BF Aleesya only at night time. This, is a way to boost milk supply. :) I just loved to be surrounded by people with knowledge.

One of these days, aku bercadang nak melawat bekas anak murid di UM. Nak cari bahan untuk proposal aku... Harap2 cadangan ini menjadi.

Anak aku tgh tido kekenyangan setelah menghisap 3 oz susu badan yang diperah semalam. Bulat jer aku tgk dia... Ya Allah sihatkanlah anak aku dan tembamkanlah dia... :)

Happy Anniversary to US!

2010-05-11T11:01:00.000-07:00

Been together for 4 years... and to keep to this phase, we do share high and low in life. Thanks for the great life together!

Kesian

2010-05-11T08:46:00.000-07:00

Kesian kat sapa? Diri ini..

Kenapa? Sebab kehendak diri tak boleh dipenuhi...

Kenapa kebanyakan manusia tak boleh nak menerima sesuatu yag baru dalam kehidupan mereka, walaupun mereka tahu perkara tersebut baik dan besar manfaatnya? Kenapa masih berpegang pada ideologi yang lama dan yang paling busuk sekali mewar2kan kepada manusia sekeliling betapa bida'ahnya tindakan yang cuba saya lakukan? Dan manusia lain pun tidak berkehendakkan memberi sokongan dan muka2 simpati kepada usaha murni saya? Heran, bila tak puas hati sbb saya menjawab dgn hujah2 yang diberikan oleh doktor, mereka seolah2 lebih mengetahui... keputusannya, buat muka... ermmm, apa yang perlu saya fikirkan utk tidak membuatkan diri ini tidak stress?

Stress saya selesai sementara bila suami balik hujung minggu melawat kami anak beranak. Dia memahami kesengsaraan apabila keinginan saya ditolak dan dihenyak tanpa ada logika dalam hujahan yang ditentang. Dia tahu saya manusia jenis apa, ada fakta yang logika, InsyaAllah saya akan ikuti dgn sepenuh hati. Ohh cinta hatiku...

I'm totally alone in my journey right now, I mean currently. Tidak mengapa, aku mempunyai banyak kerja yang perlu diselesaikan dalam masa terdekat ini. Takpelah, memang dah nasib badan... Apa yang penting anak aku mesti dapat yang terbaik. Nasib baiklah kawan2 yg berjaya lakukannya memberi sokongan penuh pada usaha aku ini. Suamipun turut sentiasa memberi kata2 perangsang - ini cukup bagus utk aku, walaupun selalu diri ini menagih lebih dr itu. SIMPATI itu penting apabila kita dalam serba kekurangan... malangnya, ia sangat sedikit di bumbung ini.

Ya Allah, Kau makbulkanlah doa2 aku, sihatkanlah aku dan anak2 aku untuk mengharung kehidupan ini, dan lepaskan bebanan yang ada di atas bahuku ini.... Aku sangat bersyukur dengan apa yang saya ada sekarang, jgnlah diambil drku, tambahkan hikmah dan hidayah dlm keluarga kami.

Cabaran selalu buatkan diri ini semakin melawan arus yg deras dan meraih kemenangan. Kadang kala hati ini menderau membuat keputusan drastik, bila dihitung satu perkara bodoh, tetapi yg penting ia terlintas jua dalam kotak fikiran yg berkarat ini. Syaitan, nafsu manusia kadang kala seolah2 mendesak aku melakukan dosa melawan manusia yg lebih tua. Kadang kala terlepas juga. Bertambah dosa2 aku.

Aku pernah berkata pada kwn baikku, untuk mengurangkan dosa, aku bersyukur tinggal jauh dr mereka. Sekali sekala berjumpa tidak mengundang perbalahan besar... kurang kredit dosa dalam buku tahunan lengan kiri. Prinsip aku senang, jangan menyusahkan mereka. Tapi dalam usaha aku untuk tidak menyusahkan mereka, syaitan dan nafsu tetap menggoda. Apa nak buat, kita manusia biasa, bebas melakukan dosa kerana kita tidak melihat top-up pahala macam battery bar handphone yg baru charged. Walaupun begitu, aku selalu rindukan mereka apabila di sana.

Saya minta sokongan anda semua, saya rindukan suami saya di Kedah, dan saya harap saya semakin matang dr hari ini. Dan tolong jgn berkasar dgn si kecil (saya mengingatkan diri ini untuk melebihkan perhatian pada anakku yg pertama).

Ironinya, hari ini hari penting saya dan suami. Sayang, selamat ulang tahun perkahwinan kita yg ke-4... Four wonderful years with hiccups (sometimes)... Luv u all around n back. Thanks for the lovely text that nearly makes tear drop in the eyes.

Damia & Baby Aleesya

2010-04-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

What is a galactagogue? Do I need one?

2010-04-11T05:36:00.000-07:00

...Herbal remedies for increasing milk supply

By Kelly Bonyata, IBCLC

A substance that increases milk supply is called a galactagogue. Some of the most commonly used herbal galactagogues are fenugreek, blessed thistle, and alfalfa. There are also several prescription medications that can increase milk supply.

Before you decide on an herbal supplement, consider your reasons for doing so.
Do you think that your milk supply is low? Why? Many moms think that they have a low milk supply even though their supply is just fine. Take a look at this information page on Increasing Low Milk Supply for more information on whether your supply is really low, and ways to increase your milk supply without herbs or medications. If you feel that your milk supply is truly low, then it will be very helpful to get in touch with a La Leche League Leader and/or a board certified lactation consultant for one-on-one help for your particular situation.

The average mother does not need galactagogues to increase or maintain supply.
Following are examples of situations when galactagogue use may be useful:

Some working mothers use herbs to increase their pumping output, even though their supply is fine when baby nurses.
Some mothers with a genuinely low milk supply use galactagogues in combination with increased nursing/pumping to increase supply.
Adoptive moms may use galactagogues to increase the amount of milk they are able to provide for their babies.

The usual, non-herbal, non-medication methods for increasing milk supply are sufficient for most mothers. If these methods have not proven sufficient and you feel that a galactagogue is needed, remember that any galactagogue will be most effective in increasing milk supply when combined with an increased nursing frequency.

Here's a bit of trivia: a number of the herbs and prescription medicines used for increasing milk supply also have uses related to digestive problems, for example, fenugreek, blessed thistle, fennel, alfalfa, metoclopramide and domperidone.

Low milk supply

2010-04-11T04:53:00.000-07:00

Mother's attachment, the first touch, witnessing the baby growing with mother's own breast milk are the dream for every mom in this world. Having said that failing to fulfill this dream during my first child, I am eager to do those with my second child, Aleesya. An hour after my C-section, I breastfed her for my very first time. I felt so empowered!! (not to mention those sore nippy due to poor latching- we are learning kan). Thanks to my midwife that very supportive on the breastfeeding, increasing my motivation to go on. Tak cukup tido pun tak pe. My hubby was furious with me, insisting to allow supplement on my newborn child, but I refused. He afraid I'm going to be cranky due to lack of rest, after what we have gone thru. After all, it will only last for a week, then your nippy will get used to your baby and her latching will improve better in the correct way.

Until 5 days ago, baby Aleesya was admitted 3days due to jaundice. I expressed my milk and gave to the nursery, insisting sipping cup instead of bottle feeding. This is to avoid nipple confusion. I was quite successful indeed. Aleesya didn't showing any of the said symptom that I afraid of. Until 2 days ago, 2 nurses from the hospital came to visit Aleesya reporting how she's doing. One of the nurses wanted to examine me especially my breast, and said my mild supply is low. Katanya, bukan rezeki I untuk susukan baby secara eksklusif. They afraid if I don't add supplement, repeated jaundice will be happening soon. I felt offended, thinking that mama's milk can be increased if you allow the baby latching more frequent, emptying the 1st and 2nd tank. They don't even mention about this fact!

I am in non-supportive environment, my parents are pro supplement. Thanks to Ima, whom having the similar problem like me, but manage to get thru it, maybe because her narcissist personality especially to breastfeeding. She's a doctor by profession, so the argument always in her hand. She's my sanity at the moment. She had the same thought like me.

Baby Aleesya today showing her impatient to my breastfeeding, as she needs to suckle harder to get the milk she needed. I am worry, in case my nenen will never be missed by her...

I need to keep calm, because stress will lowering my milk supply... Okay, pumping time!

Chaow!

My updates since labor

2010-04-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

Been admitted on 27 March 2010 (Saturday) as my gynea stimulated my opening up to 3 cm. Well, 7 cm to go for labor, but I am all excited to try on normal delivery. We admitted ourselves on 7 pm at the hospital, and at 12pm, Dr Marsita had another stimulation which breaking my water bag. The contractions started soon few hours after that, and at 4 cm, I had asked for drug help on getting thru those labor pain. I salute those mothers whom didn't ask for this drug help, I know hell it's hurt - even though most mothers would tell you, it's bearable. Since the doctor insist me to have a good rest that night since tomorrow would be the 'big' day, I surrender myself to epidural. Big thanks to my anes, Dr Lim whom very soft spoken and calming.

The next day, I am totally bored to death in the labor room. Can't keep my hubby all along my side, I know it must be worrying for him too, plus no prayer mat and kiblat direction in side the room. The room is quite nice, as I had my privacy on giving my birth - I had a room on my own. I can't expect a TV showcasing Astro in a labor room - I am praying hard to end this soon. At 10am, the doctor came by after giving birth to my next door neighbor, which she described 'terbatuk, dan anak dia trus keluar'. That was easy!! I am queuing for my turn next. As she checked, I am not ready - still stuck at 4cm.

The contractions is getting harder at 4pm. I asked for increment of epidural. A nurse was appointed to check on my opening, and it still 4cm. I was panicking, the doctor said I need to go for C-section (again??). I pleaded the nurse to tell Dr Marsita to wait in case the opening might tolerate with my wish. She came at 9pm, confirming my opening at 9cm. At 10pm, my opening was at 10cm, I must tell you that I am so happy that I am this close to give birth as how my mother had delivered me. Again, the nature challenged us again. Baby's position seemed to be tilt a bit, resulting she 'stuck' on -1 - not a safe place for the doctor to held her after my 30 minutes attempt to push. I was shivering due to earlier epidural top-up. And the doctor called for emergency operation theater.

I was pushed to OT without any mood left with me... :(

@11.16pm, my baby was safely delivered, where I was passed out due to my worrisome.

Welcome baby Aleesya to our family...

Doa Syifa

2010-04-11T00:57:00.000-07:00

Doa Syifa

Terjemahan buku Harun Din & Amran Kasimin

“Ya Allah! Selawatkanlah ke atas penghulu kami (Nabi) Muhammad, penawar hati dan pengubatnya (hati), penyihat badan dan penyembuhnya (badan), pemberi cahaya penglihatan dan pemancarnya, juga ke atas ahli keluarga dan sahabat Baginda serta berkati sejahterakanlah.”

Kegunaa ayat-ayat menurut Darussyifa:

1. Surah-Al-Fatihah dibacakan bersama Selawat Syifa’ untuk semua penyakit.

2.Surah-Al-Fatihah, Selawat Syifa’& Lauanzalna untuk menurunkan sesuatu, seperti untuk memudahkan kelahiran bayi, memulihkan masalah kesukaran buang air kecil atau besar, kesukaran menelan atau tercekik tulang dan seumpamanya.

3. Surah-Al-Fatihah, Selawat Syifa’ , Selawat Tafrijiyyah untuk menghadapi masalah yang rumit atau merawat pesakit yang tidak diketahui puncanya.

Dipetik drpd lama Darus Syifa

Between RM30 with RM300 service

2010-03-24T17:36:00.001-07:00

Lately, I am getting more sensitive on the services I'm consuming, maybe dah tua kot and the self awareness toward my rights are higher nowadays. Most of the time, I would be vocal when I am caught in similar situation.

Likewise yesterday, I went to a gynecologist in one of the so called 'pakar bersalin' at my hometown, due to my severe dry cough. In as much wanting to help my same ethnic in growing their business, the gynea didn't motivated me to pursue further but to give bad remarks on her service and thus the institution. Not only that, the nurses and the front liners are less friendly. I were asking about using my insurance coverage, instead the reception gave me a cheap look as though I don't suppose to be there because I have no money. I'm so sick of getting this kind of treatment from those people whom I know I am better then them. People, I need sympathetic gesture as I am puzzled with my sickness, rather than a snobbish kind of treatment from you guys.

The doctor's service was more puzzling. She asked me: -

"Where do you check your antenatal?"
Replied, "At Pantai Bangsar".
"Why don't you go there for this sickness?"

Sorry, I might be exaggerating this, but bodoh ke apa, by asking me this question???

Then again, I was telling all over again about my history of pneumonia which I had last year, then being hospitalized for 4 days at Sg Petani, all sort of medications that I've taken, and my concern about being in labor that in just around the corner - which I have been telling her the 1st time I sat in her clinic. Why I got this insensitive doc? And why she irritated me in such service?

5 minutes of irritated session with her ended when she decided to gave me only symptomatic relief - ubat batuk and lozenge. She took my severe cough as a mild problem - sedangkan I can't sleep at night, and every cough caused me an endless fear that my baby would come out anytime soon!!!

I quickly SMS my actual gynea, Dr Marsita, and she wrote: -

"SubhanAllah, please take augmentin (antibiotic) as suggested", she recommended some doa' and wishing me to get well soon. This is better right??

Alahai, apa nak jadi nih...

Directions for Breast Milk Storage For Feeding Healthy, Full-Term Babies

2010-03-03T00:42:00.000-08:00

What are the best storage containers for breast milk

* Standard baby bottles (glass or plastic)
* Custom-purpose milk storage bags

How long can I:

* Leave my freshly-expressed milk at room temperature?
o Up to four hours at 80 degrees F (27 degrees C)
o Up to 10 hours at 70 degrees F (21 degrees C)
o Up to 24 hours at 60 degrees F (16 degrees C) e.g. in a cooler with ice packs
* Store milk in the refrigerator?
o Five days at 39 degrees F (4 degrees C)
* Store milk in the freezer?
o Two weeks in a freezer compartment inside a refrigerator
o Three months in a self-defrosting freezer (store away from the door)
o Six months in a deep freeze that maintains a constant 0 degrees F (-19 degrees C)

NOTE: You can combine milk from different pump sessions, but cool each batch first and store according to the age of the oldest milk. It is best to freeze your milk in small quantities (2 to 4 ounces depending on the age of your baby) within two days of expressing. Leave room in the container for expansion when freezing, and date each container. As your milk cools, the cream may form a thin layer on the surface. Swirl to redistribute the cream when you warm the milk.

How do I heat breast milk?
Microwaving destroys some of the anti-infective properties of the breast milk and may create "hot spots" that could burn your baby. Place the container of milk in a bowl of warm water, or place under the hot water faucet, and heat to room temperature. Your baby may refuse milk straight from the refrigerator, but cold milk is not harmful.

Can I reuse leftover milk?
While there is no research on this topic, many mothers refrigerate milk the baby did not finish and use it at the very next feed. If you have any doubt, discard the milk.

How do I thaw frozen milk?
Place the container of breast milk in a bowl of warm water. Use the milk immediately or refrigerate for up to 24 hours. Do not refreeze.

Why does my frozen milk smell unpleasant when I thaw it?
Lipase, the enzyme that digests fats, stays active when milk is frozen. Some mothers have a high level of this enzyme and their milk smells and tastes soapy when thawed. The milk is not harmful but the baby may refuse it. You can scald your milk before storing it to make the lipase inactive by heating the milk to about 180 degrees F (82 degrees C), or until small bubbles form around the edge of the pan. Chill quickly and store.

Source: http://www.pamf.org/children/newborns/feeding/storing.html

Many many doubtful projects

2010-03-02T22:40:00.000-08:00

Becoming an university of it's own...

This is a story of empowerment without any direction. Confuse, clueless, and issues of autonomy. Should we think about this matter so much, and go on with our ordinary life?

Qs and research...

Dear friend, be cooperative, do not act like a manager. And friend, please laid off that never-careless attitude, it is sickening, don't you know?

Conference paper...

Can't get my head start up!

Markingss...

Man, this is such a mandom lecturer's job. If I could hire somebody to get it done, how I wish!

Minggu yang menarik!

2010-02-17T01:52:00.000-08:00

Moulin Rouge is showing on Star Movies, and I am still mesmerized with uniqueness of its rhetorical, elaborated story telling. As I am residing @Impiana, I take it as a mini vacation, away from my lil one's, and hoping to catch up with my readings (which I failed to do). My daughter is cliqueing very fine with Atuk, so nothing to worry especially leaving her for couple of days with her grandparents.

My day started with having kind of heavy breakfast with Rina, a huby's colleague, whom her hubby is having the same training with. We later went to KLCC, aiming to Kinokuniya to stock our house with books, and to book tonight's movie ticket. We are going to Percy Jackson movie. On the other hand, while waiting the clock hits 12pm, I was facebooking and eventually Ida, a long old friend greeted me and we agreed to meet at KLCC instead; since her office is just adjacent with our destination. It was nearly 4 years we haven't seen each other; and the last time as I could remember was on her wedding reception. And man, with 2 lil kids, she still maintained the old Ida anak dara bods... She's bless with the high metabolism instill in her! Anyway, glad to see her again and WE MUST DO THIS MORE OFTEN, kan Ida???!!!

Bought 2 books for my academia readings, Friendship: An expose by Joseph Epstein ( a light reading in understanding that 'sacred word'); and Oxford Dictionary of Sociology (an updated version).

And now here I am, waiting for tonight's queue, a real movie of the month, while hubby had a quick nap. For the past half years, on a regular basis, we had our own mini movie theater at home - movie shown via hubby's home projector and using sound system. This is also a way we spend time together without our lil one's (normally we wait till she fast asleep).

I'm experiencing runny nose, I hope this will not ruin the mood I've gathered for tonight's activity (movie ye) and tomorrow's course. By the way, Shud, again, I would like to wish you a merry birthday, may your worries and sorrows will be washed away and be a good riddance with blessing from Allah this year around. Keep up your positive vibes around you and it will eventually taking you somewhere in life. And on Friday, I'll be courting with her after what, maybe a year not seeing each other. Miss her company so much!

My course will end Friday, and Saturday is the day we heading to SP town, home sweet home, again and all routine which I succumb.

Sakit perut.. suspen, suspen...

2010-02-10T20:13:00.000-08:00

Orang kata kalau dah nak terberanak, perut memulas2. Hari ni dr pagi rasa mcm tak sedap perut. Ni buat saya suspen jer nih. Ni mesti penangan sambal cili padi smalam yg aku masak.

Baru sahaja balik dari 10-12pm class, tutorial actually, so I felt more relax compared to lecture time. I let them to argue on a topic - as usual, their views were too mainstream. I brought them not to play safe by having them to check on the reality in organization life. In fact, we can't run away from organization - this what has been argued by Giddens on his Structuration Theory (partly). They started to debate, even though some is keeping quiet to themselves - but it's good enough for me. As I'm bridging the theory based on my understanding with the scenario where we were discussing, I am enjoying myself. Should do this more often.

Thank you my children, you have made my day!

Feeling not too old...

2010-02-06T19:31:00.000-08:00

Got this by surprise from hubby... Pandai betul dia sorok dari saya....

Ermmm, purple pouch (his favorite color)...

A small purse which I'm eyeing high and low, but did not have time to really browse for it. He did all the seeking and buying for me, and knowing I'm turning 31st today (older), he grabbed a more teenage looked purse. It's truly cute. Wonder how my daughter will react on this one's, another of her toys?? - will not make it happen!

Muahhhzz, gracias!

Liberalization of equity - Malaysian rigorous steps

2010-01-30T23:27:00.000-08:00

Liberalization means "Removal of or reduction in the trade practices that thwart free flow of goods and services from one nation to another. It includes dismantling of tariff (such as duties, surcharges, and export subsidies) as well as non-tariff barriers (such as licensing regulations, quotas, and arbitrary standards)" (http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/trade-liberalization.html, retrieved on January 31, 2010). In short, to understand liberalization is as simple as no more protection on the business transaction in the country. To quote government's recent comment on this, it's role lies on facilitating the business climate in Malaysia to let the industries grow without any intrusion.

Hence, protectionism v/s liberalization. In the early years of independent, Malaysia merely adopting British economic model, which giving ways to free market of goods and merchandise. At this phase, the country witnessed how Import Substitution Phase evolved to Export Oriented Industries to localized the market and making more profit in terms of exporting goods. In other words, most Foreign Direct Investors were invited to open up their factory to cater local demands and exports, but to give government source of income and allowing training local graduates/ employees to become skilled or semi-skilled workers. Later it evolved to liberalization of services (e.g., finance, communication, banking etc.) which consist much on the intangible productions.

Now, the current trend has changed again, especially when globalization effects has strike the world. Liberalization are now into shares and equity, which selling local GLC (which some perceived GLCs are in as much giving extra burden to the governance of the country). What I understand in this new mode is privatization of GLCs. Example of the lack of control by our government was Bernas issue. Here are some of the updates on this matter: -

Khazanah terus jual pegangan dalam GLC

KUALA LUMPUR 16 Dis. - Khazanah Nasional Bhd. (Khazanah) akan terus menjual pegangannya dalam syarikat-syarikat milik kerajaan (GLC), selepas melakukan penempatan dua peratus ke atas Tenaga Nasional Bhd. (TNB), minggu lalu.

Pengarah Urusannya, Tan Sri Azman Mokhtar berkata, penempatan itu akan dilakukan secara berperingkat-peringkat.

''Kita akan terus mengurangkan pegangan dalam GLC tetapi beransur-ansur,'' katanya ditanya sama ada pelupusan itu akan terus dilakukan pada masa depan.

Beliau bagaimanapun enggan mengulas lanjut mengenainya.

Penjualan itu dilakukan selepas Khazanah melakukan penempatan 55 juta saham Malaysia Airports Holdings Bhd. (MAHB) pada September lalu.

Khazanah telah menjual 86.75 saham TNB pada harga RM8.10 sesaham, meningkatkan hasil kasar sebanyak RM702.7 juta untuk sayap pelaburan itu.

Tindakan tersebut juga selari dengan janji Perdana Menteri, Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak pada Mei dan November lalu untuk meningkatkan pasaran saham tempatan.

Khazanah menguasai sebahagian daripada kepentingan dalam Malaysian Airline System Bhd., PLUS Expressways Bhd. dan UEM Land Holdings Bhd.

Malah, ia turut memiliki kepentingan dalam syarikat kereta nasional, Proton Holdings Bhd., Kumpulan Axiata Bhd. dan Telekom Malaysia Bhd.

(News source: Utusan Malaysia, Dec 17, 2009)

Why must others nosy about you?

2010-01-27T21:02:00.000-08:00

Knowing the fact, talking about people like gossiping and most of time would make us feel good about ourselves, especially realizing we are not in deep shit as the target subject. But how about we are the target subject in a conversation? And what are they digging are all about our bad things in their eyes? Most irrelevant participants are always the broker in disseminating the info to others (mcm maxis - wider coverage).

Even worst, being the public broker - as I can see like tin kosong. Talking back about other people beyond the 4 walls, a behavior which not wise, if I'm there, this person would be perceived cheap, wanting cheap publicity. Yes, as an academician, or professional, at least masking your inner emotions are always working to keep up the calmness in one's self - however, sometimes you may look stupid especially when you are require to give some feedback. Gossiping for me, you have need to have style in doing so, or even you need to be picky to whom you wanting it to be shared with. Cliques on the other hand, is very much important to keep up the strong ties and bond amongst the participative parties thus making the conversation exclusive for members only.

Stress, yes the symptom which can hold you back from high work productivity. Bitches are all around us, so the best is to fight with the scenario. And if you are too saturated with the situation, flight to nearest saloon or spa to pamper yourself...

"Possessiveness" is Part of Marriage

2010-01-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

December 10, 2009

by Henry Makow Ph.D.

(A break from the drumbeat of despair, this slightly revised article originally appeared May 3, 2008)

My wife recently asked me why I loved her. Instead of enumerating her good qualities, I answered simply and honestly: "Because you belong to me. "

At the risk of being politically incorrect, what many men seek in marriage is not great beauty, brains or sex, but the simple feeling of "possessing" a woman. In other words, what they seek is a degree of ownership or power. (Gasp!)

And I believe that, in their heart, many women have the complementary craving, to totally "belong" to their husband.

This is the key to intimacy, how two people become one. When a man wins a woman's love, she entrusts herself to him. And of course he aspires to be worthy of this responsibility.

Thus, a woman empowers her husband. Men and women were designed to complement each other, not to compete or fight. Most marriages break up due to competition for power.

When I reflect on my marriage, I get most satisfaction from the fact that my wife is "mine." She makes other women redundant. I no longer feel one of them holds the missing key. I have what I want. My wife helps me fulfill my goals. And she gets security and caring from this bond.

The origin of this "possessiveness" is quite real and practical. Men need to "own the womb" to ensure their wives conceive their child and not another man's. Women want to rear an offspring that is the fruit of their love and commitment.

Marriage is the exchange of feminine worldly power for masculine love and protection. Of course, women retain other forms of power, i.e. aesthetic, moral, emotional, intellectual etc.

We live in a toxic environment for marriage. The Illuminati (Masonic) central bankers, who control modern politics, education and kulture, continue to sabotage this exchange by constantly attacking woman's trust in men.

Men are irresponsible "abusers." Marriage is exploitative and oppressive. Women must be "independent." How can a person belong to another? Women must be "strong and independent." The more sex the better. Yadda, yadda, yadda.

Women! If you want to be independent, why get married?

Plain and simple, our "feminist" political leaders and educators are dupes and opportunists at best, impostors or traitors at worst. No honest government allows its men and women to be turned against each other.

SEX AND THE CITY

A reader in his early 20's writes that the TV show "Sex and the City" has molded girls of his generation.

This lesbian-tinged quotation is their watchword: "Maybe our girlfriends are our soul mates and guys are just people to have fun with."

Today's young woman "sees no value in a marriage or boyfriend-girlfriend relationship; rather she just gets random sex from guys and emotional/interpersonal stuff from friends," my correspondent writes.

"It's influenced all girls my age because they see some value to sleeping around-- like being a whore is some "strong women" empowering thing..."

Paradoxically the TV show was about four aging career women who are looking for marriage and/or family but find they are incompatible with men. The reason of course is that, due to their feminist (i.e. lesbian) brainwashing, they think men and women are identical. They are confused -- want to control a man and yet be possessed at the same time. They have lost the knack of feminine love (i.e. to surrender, trust and empower.)

Similarly feminism has also molded men to seek sex and extended adolescence instead of marriage. It has undermined and emasculated men so that often they can neither demand nor command a woman's trust.

Thus, the Sex in the City women end up in a series of unsatisfying sexual encounters with men who cannot love. They cannot commit and marry and, as a result, they suffer from arrested development. But all along they console each other in coffee shops and chic boutiques and pretend they have sacrificed marriage for their women's lib principles and their friendship is superior to what they really want.

When a woman chooses a man to love, she will defer to his superior judgment and power. This is the only kind of man she should marry. This is how a woman loves. Similarly, a man cannot love a woman who defies and challenges him constantly.

Sex is the sacred symbol of heterosexual possession, intimacy and exclusivity. The more men a woman belongs to sexually, the less likely she'll ever belong to any.

It's no coincidence that the Creator of "Sex and the City" is Darren Starr, a homosexual.
I have defined homosexuality as "failure to bond permanently with a member of the opposite sex, caused by confusion over sexual identity, resulting in arrested development." Heterosexuals are being re-engineered to fit this description.

ENLIGHTENED "OWNERSHIP"

You don't win a woman's trust by attempting to dominate or suffocate her. Rather you show her how you live, and want to live, and invite her to take a honored place in your life.

You respect her individuality. For example, you don't try to impose your ideas on her. Naturally you will choose someone who has an affinity with you. But you are not looking for your clone. You should value her perspective and enjoy the differences.

I get letters from men who complain that their women can't buy into the "Conspiracy." So what? Do you really want the madness mirrored back to you? If what we're saying is true, it will become apparent to everyone eventually. People in possession of the truth do not have to impose it.

Another example. I can't imagine a man ever insisting on having sex with his wife when she's not in the mood. There's no faster way to turn a woman off a man, and off sex. (Of course if she never wants sex, the marriage is broken.)

On the other hand, a man won't let his wife engage in activities that endanger her or their marriage.

CONCLUSION

When a man loves a woman, he wants her to be happy. He wants her to want to be his.

I'm not saying all marriages have to be this way. I'm not saying my marriage is perfect. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Whatever works for you is best for you.

I am saying there is a place for "possession" in many marriages. If I am right, the quality men should seek is feminine receptivity: i.e. the ability to love, trust, belong.

Source: http://www.henrymakow.com/theres_a_place_for_possession.html